Anyone Have Trouble Functioning with Jobs/Careers and in Society due to CPTSD?

[Blueberry]

  to you Sceal.

It wasn't till I got into trauma-informed therapy that I met other people who had a lot of trouble with work or study. Before that even people with psychological problems would look at me and ask 'dumb' things like "What do you do all day?" Actually 'dumb' isn't the right word, 'hurtful' more like it, even though from their point of view my level of exhaustion was undoubtedly incomprehensible.

There might be a difference between whether people have childhood-onset or adult-onset? With adult-onset you might have been functioning well before you were traumatised and have that strength and those skills to fall back on?

I only managed to work about 3 years full-time after my degree before I 'collapsed' and I have never managed to get back into the work force properly. I do some freelance work but not even half-time and I certainly don't earn enough to live on. But I do feel  a bit productive and - as Sceal puts it - "resourceful for society, for others who can need and use me in a positive manner". Just not for many people at once! Still it's a good feeling. I can imagine wanting to feel that! I would really miss it, I do in fact at times of the year when I have little to no work.

[plantsandworms]

Hi, chiming in to say that I totally relate to this thread! Just sharing my experience:

I couldn't get through college because I would just reach points where I felt frozen and couldn't get out of bed anymore, and then end up tanking the semester and feeling worthless over it. Worked a lot of wage slave jobs for a long time just trying to afford my existence without any family safety net to fall back on and the stress of making ends meet made me so overwhelmed all the time. However, I've always felt an intense pull toward working with people who have trauma of their own - helping others satisfies the grief in me that no one ever helped me when I needed it. I've managed to land a salaried position doing work with trauma survivors and it's nice because I have control over my own schedule and can work from home when I need to. And the people I work with are trauma informed and don't blink when I assert my needs.

Now when I can't get out of bed I can give myself the time I need to get back on my feet, or rearrange my schedule and do my work in the middle of the night when I actually have the energy. The flipside though is that I am dealing with a lot of secondary trauma and even though my work days are satisfying they leave me feeling very exhausted and unable to do much else outside of the job. I know that I probably won't be able to do this work very long term because I imagine I'll eventually reach a point of no return on how much secondary trauma I can take on in addition to my own stuff. But it's nice to work with other trauma survivors - their trauma might trigger me sometimes, but their strength rubs off on me too.

[walkwithme]

Absolutely. I'm drawn to employers that say I'm a great worker and they love having me, who then tell me there's no money for raises and that they'd love to promote me but they just can't, and of course I'm just so happy to receive praise that I'll put up with it for years, while everyone around me moves up. On the flip side, having to constantly be aware of who was going to lose their temper next as a child made me practically a mind reader, and my desire to protect myself also made me a wonderful performer and comedian. I'm one of the most effective salespeople you'll ever know, haha.

[Three Roses]

(A hearty welcome to you, walkwithme!  )

[walkwithme]

Thank you 😊 finding this site is like having a torch thrown into a dark cavern. It all makes sense now.

[Blueberry]

Absolutely. I'm drawn to employers that say I'm a great worker and they love having me, who then tell me there's no money for raises and that they'd love to promote me but they just can't, and of course I'm just so happy to receive praise that I'll put up with it for years, while everyone around me moves up.

Sounds familiar. I'm even getting a FOO memory rn. Not that I was employed by FOO ever.

[wondercrew]

I worked for a long time as a lawyer at a firm in Seattle for about 6 years, and almost all this time I just suffered from the fact that I could not communicate normally with people (clients and colleagues). And I realized that I have c-ptsd. I noticed that I was getting nervous and fighting over nothing, but mostly it was in a calm manner, without shouting and other things. But still, I felt terribly guilty after that, so I decided to quit and try to launch my blog (especially since I had saved up a decent amount of money to live a little doing nothing). It turned out that I was much better at working alone for myself. And I started blogging on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok about advocacy and various problems and ways to solve them. It turns out great, especially because I use this platform in order to post everything on time and simultaneously on all three social networks.