Lockdown: hanging on for change

[jamesG.1]

Wow, this is tough.

I don't think I really felt it this bad til now. The weather has postponed the lifting of some basic effects for a month now, horrendous weather for May. I think I've been just hanging on by my fingernails waiting for it to lift so I can begin to live again. But no, this.

In some ways I've really made progress and I think many symptoms have gone in lockdown as I've been forced to avoid avoidance tactics, but now it's different.

I've worked so hard to rebuild my life and now I can feel those gains starting to drift backwards, Hugely frustrating.

I can count my blessings, put myself in the same boat as others and all the other tricks and dodges but they just don't work anymore somehow. It's utter exhaustion. I can't think, concentrate, lose myself or laugh. Totally flat.

Beginning to worry about myself.