Looking for community support & people to talk to

[Anamnesis]

Hi everyone
I'm somewhat recently out of a relationship where I was the recipient of domestic violence. My ex parnter had CPTSD from being physically, verbally, and emotionally abused by her father and emotionally and at times physically neglected by her mother. I'm arranging to see a new counselor soon is is trauma-informed and works with domestic violence, hopefully this will be more helpful than my previous therapist.

Its a difficult story to retell, but I feel like I have to revisit some of the things I went through in order to try to move on and heal. It's very confusing for me since I still feel love and attachment towards her despite how awful things were. I would like to say more, but at this moment its difficult to find the words. I'm not sure if I have CPTSD as well at this point or not. I did have some of my own ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) growing up, as my father had a neurodegenerative illness and depression, and since my mom was very busy taking care of him and working I was emotionally neglected. He died when I was a young teenager. I believe if it weren't for attachment problems from my childhood, not receiving the love I needed, I wouldn't have gotten into or stayed in an abusive relationship to begin with. We ended up together for several years, going through cycles, trying to work things out, but never did. I still feel quite unresolved.

I hope by talking with others in this, I can find support and resources to help with my healing process.
Thank you all.

[Not Alone]

I'm sorry for the pain you are experiencing. This is a very supportive place, so glad that you found us.

[Armadillo]

Hi and welcome!

That's a lot to go through. I hope you'll find it easy to talk here and get the support you deserve to heal.