Missing FOO

[OceanStar]

I know I'm doing the right thing by reducing the contact I have but right now I am feeling so lonely. Many people around me have extremely close and helpful extended family members and it's getting to me.
I have also stopped initiating contact with almost all SO family.

Its isolating. I know it's also protective but I am struggling with it.

[rainydiary]

Oceanstar, I appreciate you sharing this.  I can relate to what you share.  I have limited contact with my FOO and often feel sad that even the word family brings me a feeling of emptiness.  I share to say that I am also navigating this and appreciate the difficulty.

[Blueberry]

I can relate too.

[stilltrying]

I can relate also, Ocean. I'm so sorry you are going through this too. Its painful beyond words at time. I don't have much energy right now but just wanted to say, I'm in the same boat you are and I understand totally. I hope you are having a bit of relief since you posted.

[Papa Coco]

I'm like you: I really envy my friends who have supportive families.

When times are tough, my instinct is to want to call my mom or one of my older siblings. But I know for a fact that I would not get the comfort I seek if I called them. Mom's gone now, but last I heard my three older siblings were still alive. It's been 11 years, and they'd all be in their 70s now, so it's possible one or two or all three are gone. I wouldn't know.  I went full no-contact because I of how dangerous they were.

Speaking only for myself, I think I miss the idealistic family that I used to pretend I had. Kind of like I miss the idea of having a good family more than I miss the real-life toxic people who raised me in the real world.

But this is why I joined this group. It's good for me to have people to reach out to when I'm stressed or sad. Y'all may not be my family, but you're also not toxic. So...it's a win for me.