Shaking

[paul72]

I wanted to share this just in case it might benefit anyone else...
I have been shaking bad for at least a couple of weeks now... it is taking so much energy it stop the shakes, jumps, all of it.. it has been constant and I've felt completely drained.
I haven't been able to hardly sleep because I am jumpy, shaking inside and out.
Anyway.. I've been humming and hawing about letting go and letting the shakes take over. Not sure if out of bravery or desperation, but I did that on Sunday,
If I can share this please...

My wife suggested I lay in our spare room so I did...
I started off laying in the fetal position and I allowed myself to shake. Whenever it calmed down, I repositioned, starting at my left foot, really just placing it where there was no pressure on it... and then I'd shake some more.. I tried to tune in to what Peter Levine calls my "felt sense". I was able to do so.
This continued for a long time.. until I was laying flat on my back without pillows my body completely relaxed other than the violent jumps, and shakes that would happen.
I eventually fell asleep but I am sure I was shaking for over an hour, maybe two. Violent, uncontrollable shaking.
I woke up harshly by my phone with a work problem.... but tried again at night.
The second time was much shorter.. I was shaking again but feel asleep quickly.

Anyway.,. it was definitely weird to just let the shaking take over.
But if trauma is released at all through shaking , I must have had success.
It's two days later.. yesterday was my best day in I can't remember how long. My wife and oldest daughter said I looked better than I had in forever. I don't feel so drained and my shakes are about 75 percent better.
I had some memories while laying down that I have to work through perhaps, but not really as much as I was expecting/worried about.

I'm not sure what or how I did what I did, but I just said screw it and tried.. I am glad I did.. and I will do it again
I don't know what any of it means for my long-term healing, but I know it helped me get out of crisis mode.
If I do this again I will share, and I can answer any questions at least the best I can if anyone has, though I may have more questions than answers too

[Hope67]

Hi Phil72,
Thanks for sharing this.  Reading about your experience does benefit me, and I am grateful that you described what happened, and I admire your bravery to lean into the shaking, and that you had the outcome you did. 

Hope 

[Kizzie]

Can't post much at the moment but wanted to say congrats, so glad it seems to have helped 

[paul72]

Well... I got 5 really good days in and then the shakes came back.
It is what it is.. a few steps forward, a couple back
Still grateful for the experience and will likely try again tomorrow when I am off work,