I want to live...

[Alter-eg0]

I've been thinking of death a lot lately. Not because I want to die. But because I want to live, so badly, and I feel like i'm blocked and restricted from all the things that I love about life or want to experience so badly. The very fact that I want to live, makes me "want to die".

I have suicidal thoughts all the time, it's nothing new to me and I don't take them literally. I know that they are just a signal that there's some stuff going on that I need to address.
But boy have I been having a lot of signals lately, and I don't feel like there's anything I can do about the actual issues at the moment...It's so frustrating!

[Blueberry]

Sending care!

[rainydiary]

I have been in a similar place of wanting to really live and not being sure how exactly to do that.  I am hoping you find some ease and learn what these thoughts and feelings may be signaling.