Hello

[Lucylola]

Hi! I'm Lucy. I was raised by a malignant narcissist, borderline mother and a covert narcissist enabling father. Quite a mess. I'm now 54 and just can't take anymore and have gone no contact. I married a man very much like my father who constantly endangered me. My father wasn't so much abusive as my mother who liked to see me suffer. He simply would stay away at work or travel. He knew what was going on but sacrificed me to stay in his trauma bonded relationship. Cps would come around constantly but back then parents had the right to be present so I learned to lie to protect them. As an adult I was able to achieve some success and started helping them financially trying to get some positive reinforcement. They didn't abuse me those years but when they bled me dry they were right back to the old dynamic.
I'm currently working on strengthening my identity, finding safe relationships, learning to have fun, strengthening boundaries.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Lucy 

I'm so sorry to hear you're in the N abuse club with so many of us, it's not great to be a member but nice not to be alone with the abuse anymore either. 

In addition to joining here, you may also want to have a look at our sister site Out of the FOG - https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/.  It's for anyone who is dealing with someone with a PD.  N's are most prevalent there.  It sounds like you do know about NPD but some of the tools and resources are quite helpful.

 

[dollyvee]

Hi Lucylola,

I'm sorry you had to go through such a difficult family dynamic. Welcome to the forum  like Kizzie mentioned, lots of us on here know narcs too well.

Hope you find the healing you need,
dolly

[Larry]

welcome to the forum,   

[Bermuda]

Welcome to OOTS. So much of what you wrote is hugely relateable for me. My parents were also present, and I also lied for them... Although at the time I didn't even realise that. My father also worked away as much as possible.

I hope you find strength here.