I think I dissociated today....

[CactusFlower]

I did some inner child work this morning and she remembered an unpleasant memory I'd mostly forgotten. That was around 9am or so.

I know I reheated something for lunch, and did some writing, then had ice cream later... But beyond that, I've zoned out most of the day. It's a quarter to 6pm now. How is it that late already? I'm normally a bit more aware of how I spend my time, so I can only think the day was not wanting to deal with what my inner child brought. Now I feel kinda guilty and useless for "wasting" my day. Is this dissociation? It kinda feels like the day happened to someone else, or I just imagined it? This feels very odd now that I'm trying to be mindful of it. I also feel like it's time to eat dinner but I'm not particularly hungry. I couldn't tell you if the ice cream (wasn't much) was 2 hours ago, though, or right after lunch.

Sage

[Kizzie]

FWIW I think it's important you are aware you may have dissociated. I've found that it helps to know something is triggering (vs feeling uneasy but not know why because I push it down/away), and then edge toward it a bit at a time, in small doses until I can tolerate looking at whatever it is & feeling the pain/fear/sadness. 

Doesn't sound like a wasted day 

[CactusFlower]

HUG thank you! I definitely didn't disparage myself as much as usual once I was aware of it. And the evening was better. Thank you!

[Kizzie]

        

[jimrich]

Re: "Now I feel kinda guilty and useless for "wasting" my day. Is this dissociation?"
Therapy helped me get over the tendency to diss or criticize myself for "failing" by learning to boost or improve my sense of self-respect or self-worth so when I waste my day or fail, I try to stay with "I'm OK" or whatever other self-worth tool I can find.  I was raised on & with SELF CONTEMPT so, being kind to myself is often difficult, especially if I've wasted my day or been "useless" (as my parents would have said!). Therapy was & still is all about overcoming SELF CONTEMPT for me. good luck......