My introductory post

[Hopeful99]

Hello. I stumbled upon this website while I was educating myself about Complex PTSD. I am relieved to know there is a place where I can learn more about the topic and connect with people who have similar experiences. If only I had learned about this website earlier. Like many others who come here, I have a complicated history. I grew up in a family with a solid history of intergenerational trauma. My mother struggled with improperly treated paranoid schizophrenia; although my father was part of my family, he was mostly unavailable. My goal while here is to learn as much as possible to find the most appropriate treatment if it exists--something that has eluded me for decades.

[woodsgnome]

Greetings, Hopeful99   

There's lots to this trek in the uncharted territory known as C-ptsd. Whatever we choose to call it, there's lots to unpack and throw out from our 'old' stories and, frankly, dangerous paths we were on.

While we still have too many remnants of what went horribly wrong, often too early, we do have a commonality that feels good: we survived! And somehow we've retained enough curiosity to venture further towards hope. It can be frustrating sometimes, but at least we have that.

My hope is that by being here you'll feel enabled to discover new ways of finding a safe way forward. For starters, you'll at least know you're not alone anymore.

[paul72]

hi hopeful99
Thanks for joining!!
I hope you find it supportive and encouraging here

[Bach]

 

Welcome to the forum.  It's a good place.

[littlebluejay]

Welcome. You'll likely find some really kind people here who have walked a similar path as you. I also come from a family with long lines of intergenerational trauma and pain. It's very complicated. And you are not alone. Here's a welcome hug 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Hopeful   

[Pagurus]

Hello,
I just joined as well. Welcome!

[Not Alone]

Welcome. 

[Hopeful99]

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I will reveal more over time. I must dip my toes in the water before jumping in head first. I would love to connect with other people who have grown up with mothers who had schizophrenia—just cracking open a door here to peek through and see what happens. Trust issues and all that, you know?

[Kraggy]

Hi Hopeful99,
Just want to send a hello and welcome. I am starting to explore intergenerational trauma as well. Glad you posted your intro. Look forward to supporting your journey Kraggy

[Armee]

Hi and welcome, Hopeful.

Toward the end of her life I began to wonder if my mom had been misdiagnosed. She is diagnosed as bipolar and had been on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics as long as I remember. But her symptoms started to seem much more like schizophrenia to me with things like echolalia, catatonia, complete absence of affect etc.

I know it isn't the same as growing up with a parent who has paranoid schizophrenia. That would be really confusing and scary I imagine.

But I and many here can relate to the effects and traumas of growing up with mentally ill parents. Like you, my dad was absent (fully).

I hope you find this site to be healing and worthy of your trust. 

[Armee]

Your post had me thinking too...my public health hero is Dr. Nadine Burke Harris. She is a pediatrician and was appointed California's first Surgeon General. Her focus is on childhood trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences. I remembered hearing awhile back that her mother had paranoid schizophrenia. I always really appreciated that she elevated and brought attention to the physical mental and behavioral health impacts of having a parent with mental illness because it feels sometimes like that gets overshadowed by more overt abuse. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/magazine/magazine_article/launching-a-revolution/

[Kraggy]

<< I always really appreciated that she elevated and brought attention to the physical mental and behavioral health impacts of having a parent with mental illness because it feels sometimes like that gets overshadowed by more overt abuse. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/magazine/magazine_article/launching-a-revolution/
[/quote]>> Thanks Armee for including this link and a little bit of the background.
Interesting, and yes a different type of mental illness (like schizophrenia)   can impact a developing child - it can still have a profound lasting effects. I see what you mean about the more overt PDs (personality disordereds) having profound and more overt effects on childhood and development. Attention is more often paid to this group, sure.
I observed a similar situation in my MIL, who had a father who was full blown paranoid schizophrenic. The next generation was affected profoundly.  It was so prevalent in the genetics, my spouses uncle suffers from it and resides alone with family bringing him food baskets often. He sadly has little to no interaction with outside world. Breaks my heart that this happened to him and we would want to reach out more, but thats another story. Thats a tough one as he refuses professional help.

[Hopeful99]

Thank your replies and the resource (Dr. Nadine Burke Harris). I will read her article. Yes, parental paranoid schizophrenia wreaks havoc, affecting every area of child development. And, I agree that this type of childhood adversity is regularly overshadowed by more physical forms of child maltreatment.

[Papa Coco]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum.

I agree that people don't fully respect the damage done to a group by one mentally ill, physically ill, or just plain difficult member. I know that traumatized parents create traumatized children. Not necessarily through DNA, but absolutely through interaction. I believe that there are two ways to be driven "crazy". One is being born with a genetic brain issue, like being born to have schizophrenia or narcissism, and the other is to be damaged by others.  I call this a Demolition Derby. One mentally ill parent causes so many crashes that the rest of the family comes out in the end all banged up, scarred, broken...damaged.

I know that in any family, when a child or parent is mentally ill, narcissistic, or addicted to something, that the entire family suffers.  We have local meetings for people who have addicts in their families, but what we need now are places where those of us who've been ravaged by mentally ill family members can go to find support.