Growing towards the sun

[Mary Ann]

Growing towards the sun
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Humph...you'll never get to do that
Do anything..not when you come from THIS family
And I listened to Mum,  I heard, absorbing it
Mutely, like osmosis it crept and spread
Those words threading through
My being, like letters shot through
Blackpool rock, evidence of where you've been
And what your means are limited to.

You like THIS...don't you?
He said, And I did, I liked it,
The way a starving child
Likes a spoiled, crumbling pork pie
Feeling it's tainted, unwholesome
But lacking anything else
She eats it, and is grateful
So I welcomed his touch, that would made me sick

You'll never be anything,
Not in THIS family! Maybe?
I am nothing...but my children sleep safe
My daughter is confident, unacquainted
With the fear of men
My son  does not apologise for life.
They unfurl towards the sun laughing,
Fizzy and refreshing as lemonade

You'll never be anything,
Not in this family!
Maybe. But I am better than YOU were
My childhood, my suffering, my life
Is but a rich loam mixed...churned..  with
Anguished rumination, not a memory
I can bear, but when my children blossom
Who cares if the soil feels dirty!

You'll never be anything, not in this family.
And what am I? I'm not sure,
I'm better than THEY were...Im not nothing
My children are happy and young by right!
Unfettered by the weight of adult wrongs
I don't like me, but my friends do
So I try to absorb, soak up any drops of love
And inspired by my children, I grow towards the sun

[woodsgnome]

I found this to be astounding, original, wistful, insightful. You say it well and heartfully. While still hurting about the past, your words were a wonderful look at the current and meaningful patterns that put the lie to the old pain with which you have struggled.

Thanks!!! I hope we can all find fresh perspectives even while we mourn the old hurts.