Letter to my friend

[rainydiary]

Dear K,

I have been feeling incredibly hurt by the distance between us.

I used to feel safe and comfortable to reach out.  I don't anymore.  The last time I reached out you expressed a need for space.  I gave it.

I am hurt by the ways you have of late expressed what I perceive to be toxic positivity.  It bugs me and leaves me feeling unsettled.

As I thought about our relationship, I wondered if perhaps I took more than I gave.  Or maybe that is a story I am telling myself.  I think we both reached out when needed and now we don't.

I could try to reach out and express my wish for us to reconnect.  But I am hesitant to do so.  I don't want to be rejected.  It seems like you are going through a lot and I am not a friend you need as much anymore.

This hurts because it has happened to me time and time again.  I moved a lot growing up and felt people slip away time and time again.  On top of my parents being abusive, I lost people I needed time and time again for my dad's job.

Perhaps we have served the purpose we were meant to for each other.  I am sad that is over.  I think in the future if I was really in a bind you might lend a listening ear....but for now I am grieving.