overwhelming anxiety!

[Lizzie]

My CPTSD tends to manifest itself in the form of awful anxiety that makes it difficult to even do the things I love. Many times I have a hard time getting out of bed, and once I do, I feel so anxious about the day ahead of me. Advice anyone? Can anyone relate?

[DaisyMae]

HI Lizzie  ,

Sure can...  the anxiety currently feels like it runs my life.  I do not have any trouble getting out of bed because I am a workaholic.  But, the anxiety starts once I start getting ready for work.  I can manage it better once I am work but depending on what triggers I experience or how overwhelmed I become, the anxiety builds.  By the time I leave to go home, I am short of breath.  I come home and try to settle back in to work but I struggle, I just freeze in front of the TV or on the internet.  I use alcohol to cope, repress the anxiety and emotions so I can finally fall asleep.   As far as advice, I am sorry, I am in the same boat and can only relate.  I have read Pete Walkers book and a few others in an effort to educate myself and understand what so many of us are dealing with, going through.  I am in counseling and am on medication.  I have Xanax for the anxiety and when I really feel like I could just walk right out of my own skin I will take it before bed instead of the alcohol.  But, somehow my brain is okay with the alcohol to cope because of how it makes me feel but not with the Xanax.  Still haven't really figured out that one.  The alcohol gives me more of the feeling of euphoria, escape I think, I feel relaxed but still awake where the Xanax just puts me right out so maybe the reason is in how the alcohol makes me feel.....

Sorry, I can't be of more help but hopefully it helps that there is someone else that can relate.     DM

[Trees]

Hi Lizzie, yes, I have had a lot of anxiety in my life, too.  And I still do.  Like DaisyMae, I get counseling and medication.  And I have begun to be very careful of what I eat, as carbs make me even more anxious.  Also, I take a lot of vitamins, nutritional supplements.

I have had to swear off alcohol (again!) because in the long run it just makes things worse for me.

I have read various books on the subject, and I do recommend Pete Walker's book.  I think the most powerful concept that has helped me is to comfort the Inner wounded Child in myself.  Beginning to feel compassion for what I endured as a child is what has helped me most.

You are certainly not alone in your awful anxiety.  I hope you will stay in touch here so that you will be reminded often that you are not alone, so that we all can comfort each other in our journeys.   

[Indigochild]

Hey Lizzie, I am sorry i dont have any advice

Im not sure how to solve it either.

I do have anxiety, not fully in touch with my feelings so not sure when exactly, but i do sometimes experience this in the morning, when going out with out my partner, thoughts about what others think, feeling worthless etc.
Anxiety about things..yes ...i do, and had a particularly one the other night about my partner leaving and all this life i have crumbling to the ground in front of me. I would have done anything to stop it, and although i had a been drinking ad smoking, i had to go to bed with these troubling thoughts, this impending doom, that everything will end - that it will be taken away from me.
In the end, i snuggled up with a teddy bear, i needed comfort which is strange, as teddies actually make me very sad.

Its interesting Daisymay that you say that
*alcohol gives me more of the feeling of euphoria, escape I think, I feel relaxed but still awake where the Xanax just puts me right out so maybe the reason is in how the alcohol makes me feel.....*

That is how it makes me feel also. Listening to music on headphones, zoning out when i can no longer concentrate on what is happening on TV, gives me a real buzz.  Sometimes i am able to cry a few small tears, but it does numb me, and then if i can cry, dissociation kicks in and i feel drunk, as well as the alcohol already doing that.
Cigerates too make me want to lie down,...the feeling of floating- feels just like dissection to me- that nicotine high, takes me away from whats happening.
I wouldnt recommend smoking, but i have when anxiety high, and when needing to self harm, sabotage.

I hope it gets better for you both and that you find ways to cope.