Hello from California

[freelancebaby]

Hi All,

Coming to terms with having C-PTSD and finding that, although painful, it rings true and could be a path to a happier life.

Grew up being raised by my grandparents who were old and tired from having raised a huge family and I think I got the dregs of their parenting. My mom is schizophrenic and was in a mental hospital at the time of my birth. My dad was a bachelor type with little parenting skills, and his parents were Holocaust survivors.

I have a brother who I grew up with who is mentally ill, homeless and often in jail for petty crimes.

I grew up with a couple of different weird uncles who would interlude living at my grandparents small house. I didn't trust either of them. One was in and out of prison and likely a meth user. The other was often homeless and mentally ill, would talk to himself on the phone under the guise of having received a phone call.

Both of my grandparents passed away by the time I was 23. I'm 40 now, do a lot of creative things and work part time as a librarian. I take 200mg of sertraline and 15 mg of mirtazapine. I do a lot of physical activity but have a hard time shaking off an feeling of fear. I'm deciding to quit drinking to stabilize my mental health and have found an expensive therapist that specializes in trauma who will be hard to afford but I think will help me on the path to healing.

Sending well wishes to all of you. I'm sorry we all went through an unjust upbringing but I'm glad we're all here together

[Hope67]

Welcome Freelancebaby,
Glad you are here, and hope that you'll find it a helpful and supportive place.   
Hope 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS freelancebaby    I'm glad you found your way here and I hope you find the forum helpful in your recovery. Members are quite supportive and we all have been through some pretty bad things too so we get it. So sorry for what you went through and that you are still struggling.  if that's OK. 

[NarcKiddo]

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry you have had such difficulties to contend with in your life. I'm glad you found your way here. I wish you all the best with the therapy and stopping drinking. Both these things will be tough at times so please feel free to post here if you need some support along the way.

[Papa Coco]

Welcome to the forum Freelancebaby,

I'm so glad that, after all the dysfunctional relatives in your life, you've found a good therapist and some meds that are helping. I really hope you are able to find the comradery here on the forum that can help as you navigate life from here.

There are so many truly helpful and wonderful people here on this forum. I've been enjoying their empathy and compassion for two years now. It's really a good group of people.

Welcome,

[freelancebaby]

Thank you, everybody for the warm welcome