Scared to Lay in Bed

[gcj07a]

We just moved to a new house and it superficially reminds me of the house I grew up in. One issue is that I have a window just behind and to the left of my bed, just like I did growing up. I now find myself staying up until 1 or 2 in the morning in an effort to get tired enough to just fall asleep instantly. I do have nightmares sometimes and wake up in the middle of the night sometimes (though my psych put me on Prazozin which has really helped with the middle of the night wake-ups), but I am scared to lay in the darkness because I sink into a twilight zone of sorts where I keep "jumping" awake, expecting my perp to walk through the door and attack me (or that my perp will break through my window). This wasn't much of a problem until we moved to this house and it is impractical to try to move my bed somewhere else or to move to a different house. It is easier to go to bed if my wife is awake but laying in the bed--I can trust her to keep watch for me, but she usually gets to bed before I do.

Does anyone have advice on dealing with hypervigilance keeping you awake?

Thanks!

[Armee]

I don't have advice,  per se, but constantly finding very tangible reminders that you are present and safe. Once you process the trauma with your T I would anticipate this to improve. Right now while you are in the worst of the memories it really would be very worthwhile to sleep in a different room some of the time to get a rest from the triggers. For awhile my T had me spend a couple nights a week sleeping with my daughter to get rest from the flashbacks and insomnia. It won't be like this forever, but I'm very sorry you are going through it now.

[NarcKiddo]

Good sleep is so very important for your physical and mental health. I agree with Armee that sleeping in a different room at least occasionally may be something you should consider. You may also need to talk this through with your wife if you have not done so. Are there other similarities to the bedroom that you could maybe change, such as wall colour or drapes?

[Kizzie]

I agree with Armee and NK, could you try sleeping in another room for a bit or make your bedroom look as different from your old room as possible? 

The other thought I had and this may not be possible but would it help to have a dog who would go to bed with you and you know would alert you to anything out of the ordinary?  Plus there's the whole cuddling and soft fur thing which is a way of making bedtime very pleasant. Just a thought.

[gcj07a]

Thanks everyone! I will give all of this some thought.

Kizzie, my wife actually brought up the idea of a dog to sleep with as a comfort and as a built in alarm system and I started sobbing. When I was 11 my mom killed my cat (she ran over the cat one day after church; she claimed it was a tragic accident), the only living creature I trusted. She was always super jealous if I gave anyone other than her affection. Anyway, I spent the next few months BEGGING for a chocolate lab (my grandparents had a lab mix I would take naps with), but instead she bought a chocolate colored lap dog that she systematically trained to only like her.

Anyhow, I may very well get myself a chocolate lab. Thanks for the idea!

[Armee]

That would be the BEST outcome to this in the whole world. I love that idea. 

[Kizzie]

OMG GCJ that is horrific and I'm so sorry she did that, truly awful.  I hope you do get your chocolate lab, wouldn't that be awesome to snuggle up to him/her and know they love you unconditionally forever?  I would love to get a dog or cat but I am really allergic sadly.

[gcj07a]

Thank you all!

[Kizzie]

If you get a dog would love to see a pic 

[storyworld]

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing. I can't imagine how difficult that would be. Not for the same reasons, but we purchased a mattress for me that I have in a different area that I can go to, whenever I need. There was also a time when I slept most nights on our couch. For me, it wasn't because of the room that I felt unsafe. I felt anxious going to sleep any time at night, and so bounced back and forth between feeling like perhaps I was tired enough to go to sleep, but then getting instantly high-key fearful the moment I started to drift off, getting up, and leaving the area to do something distracting until I began to feel sleepy again, repeat, repeat, repeat.

When I was especially panicked feeling, I would hold ice, as I had read that can help. At the least, it was somewhat distracting.

Sleep challenges really stink! I'm sorry you are having such difficulty.