No contact? Boundaries?

[str_grl]

I hope everyone is doing well and making their way through the winter! With all of the holidays, I have thought a lot about my family. I have not really limited contact with my FOO. But something I was always super strict on was not showing my emotions or how I was doing anything like that with them. But then I was raising money for something and it came out that I have cptsd. Now phone calls with my M include a mention of understanding how bad it was or how great I turned out despite the circumstances or remember it was also hard for her. To me that's just diminishes the amount of trauma and everything that happened and is like I should just push on and get past it. However I really struggle because I don't want to go full no contact with them and I do have a boundary about not talking about my childhood stuff. But I wonder if it's enough for me. Another problem is that if I went no contacts with one parent I have to go no contact with both of my parents and I don't really prefer to do that. Although they both played different roles in my trauma, one of them had a much less significant role and is someone who I can now count on. I also know it would hurt them a lot. It's just really tricky figuring out what boundaries work and where they should be.

[Kizzie]

So sorry to have missed replying to this, sometimes it happens but I wanted to reply now and I hope you'll see it.

One thing you can do is head over to our sister site Out of the FOG as they have a lot of good tools for dealing with difficult people.  It really helped me, in particular gray rock in which you keep quite neutral around the person.  The other was not loading the drama gun which is to make sure you don't tell the person much if anything about you or your life, just enough to make conversation but no details.  Anyway I could go on but you can check the info out here - https://outofthefog.website/toolbox-intro.

It's always difficult navigating a relationship with someone who is difficult but you can manage things to some extent.

Hope this helps!