Hi to everyone reading

[vitamind3000]

Hi there, happy Thursday. I joined this forum as a way to develop the ability to feel like a community member. I read a lot of new member information last night; it's refreshing to be in a space with such considerate structure. The guidelines felt very transformational for me. I'm used to interacting with guidelines and community organization, but this is one of the first spaces where they're written for my benefit, you know?

I'm not sure what to say about my past. I'm sure there will be other spaces to get into it. I was abused within my FOO in a stereotypical scapegoat roll, and was bullied quite a lot at a young age. As I've gotten older, I've felt more and more like being mixed-race and half-siblings played into this. I also believe a lot of bullying I received was due to people trying to tear me down, plus was taught to believe that other kids would just dislike me. My stories on trauma center heavily around identity and relationship, and feeling fundamentally monstrous and unloveable.

I've developed and improved a lot within the last few years specifically. In some ways, I'm glad that I am finding this forum now, as I've been such a wreck that I don't think I could have engaged in a beneficial way. I'm so happy to be here with you all now.   

[Hope67]

Hi Vitamind3000,
Welcome 
Hope 

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome.

My therapist has said that she thinks people do not really seek out the help they need until they are ready to benefit from it. Your final paragraph would seem to agree with that. I am sorry you have had struggles and trauma and been bullied, but I am glad you have noticed improvements in recent years. Here's to many more!

[Papa Coco]

VitD3000

Welcome to the forum. Your assessment of how these people interact and care about each other is true for me too. I've tried other forums and groups, but this one is the most loving and caring and compassionate of any I've ever experienced.

I can easily see your point that being mixed race and being raised with half-siblings would contribute to your feeling alone and "different". That sense of not belonging is pretty common in most of the folks on this forum. I trust you will find comfort here. For me, it just feels amazing to have people I can chat with who don't need me to explain "why I feel like I do." No one on this forum has ever said "You shouldn't feel that way." We all know that we feel how we feel, and we all accept and love that about each other.

Welcome. I'm glad you found this forum.

[Heartly]

Welcome, vitamind3000.  You are in a good place.

[Little2Nothing]

Welcome Vitamind3000

[Lakelynn]

I'm glad you found us and you're here Vitamind3000. This place is safe, structured and enduring!

There is a lot of information, topics, sub-topics, journals, books, etc. It can take a while to poke around and see where you might find good things for yourself.