My Father is Gone

[Awb1988]

My father,
He's gone
Not dead, but buried
I put him in the way back
Where the horror and cobwebs collect

No longer do I have the will or heart to tidy up
Even if, I'd sooner set it all on fire
And catch the soot on my tongue
sweeter it may taste, then his curdled love

We have the same eyes,
Excuse me HIS eyes, he'd want you to know
I am nothing more to then an extension

His servant, His punching bag, His Disposable little clone

I decided to visit him
I buried him deep
More than six feet, just to be safe

His grave reads
Here Lies a Narcissist
That Abused His Wife
Tortured His Children
And Took Absolutely No Ownership of His Wrong Doings

I piss buckets upon the marble stone,
my father is not dead but yet
my father is gone.

[BecomingMe]

I'm so, so sorry for what you went through Awb1988   Unfortunately I relate all too much    My father has actually been dead many years but continues to hurt and torture me through the lies he imprinted on my brain as a child and the flashbacks that have become overwhelming this last year. Right now, like you it seems    I'm going through a tough period BUT I'll get through it. I will do for myself what no-one else did - give myself real love, care and kindness. I truly hope you will do the same for yourself and that eventually we can both let the past rest so that WE can have the peace we deserve. Sending you a warm hug  Remember that you are still here despite him and you deserve to find happiness - keep moving forward, even if its just one small step at a time