I feel almost like an interloper.

[GoSlash27]

 All,
 This is all so new to me that I feel almost like I don't belong here. I only found out last week that I have cPTSD and it was only a month ago that I thought I had been living a relatively 'normal' life.

 I know *objectively* that this is silly given my history, symptoms, and comorbidities... But it's all so new to me right now that it doesn't feel quite 'real' yet.

 I don't know what questions to ask, what I need to talk about. I haven't even had my first therapy session yet.

 I'm very thankful that this forum exists and grateful that you all have been so kind and welcoming.

 Thanks,
-Slashy
 

[Papa Coco]

Slashy,

I for one am very glad you are on the forum.

You don't have to ask any questions if you don't have any to ask. sometimes just sending someone who's in pain today a hug emoji is teh most helpful thing you can do.

For me, when I express my compassion to someone, I feel like I've gotten some healing myself. And when others send their compassion to me, even if by just sending a hug emoji, I feel it. For me, just being with people of like mind is where 99% of the healing is.

I'm glad you joined. I read everything you write.
PC.

  

[NarcKiddo]

I hope the first therapy session went well. I think you said it was yesterday? Although my brain is like a sieve right now so forgive me if I have misremembered.

[GoSlash27]

NK,
 Good morning. My first consultation was Saturday. My first therapy session is Wednesday morning. She says she has techniques she can share with me to help with the panic attacks. 

 It was more difficult to get through than I had expected. I'm *very* emotionally knotted up right now.

 One thing I found kind of amusing is that she seemed to have a hard time believing my claim that I've never been incarcerated or charged with a crime. I guess that's more common than I assumed.  I said "look: I just told you all these *other* things I've been doing that I haven't told anyone else. I know this will only work if I'm open and honest with you. If I had ever been charged with a crime, I would tell you".

 Hope all is well at your end and thanks for checking on me,
-Slashy

 

[Papa Coco]

Slashy

I'm excited to hear how your first session on Wednesday goes.

Sincerely,
PC

[Kizzie]

Thank you for your apology Slashy. IMO it's a sign of recovery if you can accept gracefully when someone offers constructive criticism. Oftentimes on this forum when I have to speak to a member they will do one of two things, go into fight mode which is difficult to deal with, or leave. It's understandable given what we have all been through that members would pick those two options so it is lovely when a member chooses the route you did.   

[GoSlash27]

 Kizzie,
 Thank you for the kind words, Ma'am. 
 In my case my critical inner voice has been dead for thirty years, so I can admit when I screwed up (I most definitely did there) and not beat myself up over it..
 I hope I don't have occasion to issue apologies like that again too often. 

Best,
-Slashy