Hello

[strawberrycat]

Hi, I signed up at the beginning of April, but haven't had a chance to make my introducion post until now. I mainly developed CPTSD through emotional abuse and neglect in my childhood; I've also experienced a few isolated incidents and witnessed animal violence. I have a lot of anxiety and have dealt with depressive episodes, suicidal ideation, self destructive behaviors, maladaptive daydreaming, and debilitating attachment issues. From 2019-2021 I reenacted my early attachment trauma three times in a row with three different people - all online. After being retraumatized so much, I socialy isolated myself for over two years - desperately trying to protect myself.

It was only during December that I realized I didnt want to be like this anymore. So ever since then, I have been in self-recovery, as I dont feel ready to try therapy again quite yet. The past few months have consisted of a lot of resource searching, trial and error, and trying new things. During this early stage of healing I am mostly focused on establishing inner safety, listening to my needs, and self care. I'm aware of the importance of community support for healing from trauma, but have been reluctant towards online support groups because of past online experiences. Therefore, I may have a hard time trusting other members on the forum and may refrain from posting for awhile. Thank you for reading.

[Papa Coco]

Strawberrycat,

Welcome to the forum. This is a great place to just be with people who fully understand what it feels like to be where you are.

This forum has been a great help to me, and I hope it is for you as well.

I'm glad you joined.

[Cascade]

Hey there, Strawberry Cat,
Love your name and profile pic; it's perfect!

I am currently isolating for protective purposes, too.  I have been here for about six weeks, mostly in an emotional flashback (EF; see Pete Walker's book on CPTSD, From Surviving to Thriving).  I'm trying to psychoeducate myself as, I too, have difficulty with therapists right now.

Trust is a huge issue for me, too.  Please feel free to read our posts and get to know us before you jump in with your own comments.  Please also feel free to comment with your thoughts and feelings... they will be received with compassion!

I'm so glad you joined us and look forward to seeing you more and healing together.
   -Cascade

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I wish you all the best.

[Little2Nothing]

Welcome!

[GoSlash27]

 Strawberrycat,
 Good morning. I'll read what you have to say and wish you well.

 Welcome aboard,
-Slashy

[Kizzie]

Not to worry about when you post, we get that when you're new it can be quite difficult. Just ease into it and I think you'll find you feel comfortable before too long.  Lots of lovely people here. 

Welcome to OOTS!