Hijacking Threads - Reminder

[Kizzie]

Hi Folks:

I've noticed a tendency toward hijacking threads lately. This refers to taking the original poster's  (OP) thread over to talk about your own experiences with the topic/issue. IAW our guidelines I must ask that you not do so. The OP has asked a question or shared their feelings/experiences to get some feedback and I would ask that you honour that. It's OK to talk about how you feel or what you've experienced with respect to the topic, but in the context of the OP's concern or question.

Thanks,

Kizzie

 

[Dalloway]

I´m sorry, Kizzie, I realize this reminder may be referring to me, too. Thinking about my latest comments, I have a tendency to "jump into" threads that I can relate to and write something personal, that however, may not be directly connected to the OP´s question. I´m grateful that you pointed this out, I learned something important about communication again.  I agree with you that we have to respect each other and this is a part of it, too. 

[Desert Flower]

Me too, I may have done this on a few occasions. I didn't know we weren't supposed to. Whenever I add some of my own experiences though, I do hope some of it is helpful for others too. My apologies if I have been taking over too much.

[AphoticAtramentous]

I personally greatly appreciate it when others bring their own experiences into my own threads, because it helps me understand my own experiences by comparison. I don't really get much out of mere acknowledgements. As Desert Flower hoped, I find others' stories immensely helpful.

I understand why others may not appreciate it, but I also don't want to discourage others from sharing stuff about themselves in my own threads. Is it something that we can perhaps dictate for our own threads? Maybe as a default stick to said rule but allow some leeway if we request as such in our own threads?

Regards,
Aphotic.

[NarcKiddo]

I always thought it was OK to discuss any aspect of a particular topic unless we in the journal area. My fault for not remembering the guidelines, which I have read but have no doubt forgotten the detail of. Will go back to refresh my memory.

Personally, I find it helpful if people are free to discuss any aspect of a particular topic and I imagine browsers of the forum who may be seeking help would also find it useful to read a meandering thread, should one develop. Presumably it is OK for an OP to indicate in their opening post if they are open to any and all feedback even if it may technically count as hijacking?

[Blueberry]

Thanks for the reminder Kizzie    It's easy to forget the exact Guidelines over time and not re-read because I know them, right? Wrong

I always thought it was OK to discuss any aspect of a particular topic unless we in the journal area.

... Presumably it is OK for an OP to indicate in their opening post if they are open to any and all feedback even if it may technically count as hijacking?

NK, there are some threads which are open on everything to do with the topic like https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=11152.0 but there is an indication of that from Kizzie right at the top. Or sometimes any other mbr might set up a thread for everybody, like Chart's Exercise Support Thread. otoh I've set up a few threads before e.g. One Kindness to Self per Day and my new thread on Encouragement but with stipulations, usually - please only the actual good stuff on this thread rather than pondering why you're not doing it. The latter has a place, definitely, but not on those particular threads of mine. They serve a different purpose. So I think it is good that there's a No Hijacking guideline on more threads than just Journals

Personally, I find it helpful if people are free to discuss any aspect of a particular topic and I imagine browsers of the forum who may be seeking help would also find it useful to read a meandering thread, should one develop.

It's always interesting to hear other mbrs' take on things, such a variety on this forum with only the cptsd in common! I'm exaggerating somewhat. Good for me to be reminded: not everybody is like you, BB, not everybody has your preferences.

I imagine there are forum browsers and mbrs who like meandering threads and those who find themselves getting lost in such threads... I do know that especially newer mbrs sometimes find the forum rather difficult to get around and to find things in, a little unwieldy maybe. This is NOT a criticism of Kizzie and her excellent work on this forum   I think it's a "BB trauma brain problem" or similar, which some others seem to have too.

It's just as well Kizzie is open to us chiming in on these types of threads...

[CactusFlower]

I can see both sides. OTOH, I know if I click into a thread because the topic was interesting, I'm honestly not going to scroll that much or go back more than one page to find where it was still on topic. I'll just click out and give up, but that's me. I think adding one's own perspective and experiences might be fine as long as it's still related to and hopefully quoting why it's relevant.

That being said, not everyone is aware that neurodivergent people often share such things not to hijack a topic or make it about them. It's a way of empathizing with someone and connecting over shared similar experiences, not one-upping. Neurodivergent people often get the "Ugh, why do you always have to make it about you" when they actually meant "hey, I've been through something like that, I get it." It might just be happening here more than other places because we ARE here for things we have in common.

We have a very diverse group here, and that's part of the beauty of why we can connect so well and support each other. I think we can follow forum rules while remembering we're each beautiful and worthy of connection and care.

[Kizzie]

Sorry folks, maybe the guideline isn't clear enough.  Hijacking refers to when someone takes over a thread and makes it about themselves. It's not about sharing their experiences with or offering some suggestions to the original poster. Members do often join in a discussion about the issue/topic/experience, but tend to bring it back to the person who started the thread, perhaps asking if what they shared helped or if their contribution made things a bit clearer, that kind of thing. 

There are times when a thread is more about discussion of an issue and generally the original poster is clear they don't want responses that relate to them specifically, just info/ideas that relate to the topic or question posed. This isn't what hijacking is about.

I'm not pointing my finger at anyone by the way, just pointing out something that we need to try not to do if we can help it and that is to take over a thread. As you can imagine, it can leave some members feeling like something has been taken from them yet again or their voice has been lost/dismissed. I think we're all astute enough to understand the difference.     

[CactusFlower]

Gotcha, thank you for the clarification, Kizzie. Appreciate you keeping us all safe.