New to the group

[Tishie]

Hi there, I cann't believe I haven't found you guys before. Yahhh!!!

I diagnosed myself with C-PTSD after many years of recovering from the affects of alcoholism by alcoholic parents in a 12 step program..  10 years ago I was triggered at work numerous times each day by situations that triggered the childhood abuse.  I had no idea what was happening.  After 2 years of this toxic work environment, I went on sick leave.  This was my 4th time going on sick leave.  The first 3 times were because of post-partum depression, situational depression when my father passed away and depression due to trying to come off medication.  Each time I was on sick leave for 1 - 1 1/2 years.  This time it's been 8 years.  After 2 years of seeing my psychiatrist, I realized he had no idea about helping me with the trauma.  I left and joined a 12 step recovery group for depression.  I learned to love myself in this group, along with my inner child.  After several years, I realized the depression was gone but there was something else that was weighing me down.  I was very familiar with fatigue because of the depression but the brain pain was excruciating and debilitating.  I don't know how I figured out the C-PTSD but I did.  It's what started happening 10 years ago.  The triggers were so painful.  I had no idea how to cope with them. I went to a few ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) for 7 months and had to stop because it was too triggering.  However, there I learned to nuture my inner child, along with the help of a counsellor and a close relationship with a Higher Power.

What brings me to this group today is to ask if anyone else experiences excruciating and debilitating head pain or headaches.  To me, it's not a tension or migraine headache.  When I overextend myself, the result is head pain and fatigue.  At the time, I don't think I'm overextending myself because I feel good.  It's the next day.  Last Saturday I went out of town for the night to visit in-laws with my husband.  3 hour drive.  Came back the next day feeling great.  Went to a 1 hour concert Sunday night.  Monday & Tuesday I suffered with the head pain and fatigue.  Wednesday not feeling much better managed to go to therapy and talked about what was happening.  Thursday & Friday was a bit better and able to do a few errands and go to appointments however feeling very frustrated with the length of time it was taking me to feel myself.  Today I'm resting again because I still am not back to myself.  I've spent the past 8 years going back and forth through the cycle of doing things, holding my breath hoping to be ok the next time, feeling exhausted with the head pain, resting and repeat.  I also never know how long the exhaustion and head pain is going to last.  To me, there's so much lose with this lifestyle.  I'm not able to be as physically active as I would like or participate in life.

I'm grateful I'm continuing to learn to love myself, be present to the day and myself, am a member of 12 step recovery and a close connection with my Higher Power, along with the support of my husband and adult daughter. 

I need your help.  Can u relate to the fatigue, brain pain and losses?  If so, what helps you manage the pain and fatigue?

Thank-you for being here.

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, and welcome. It sounds like you are making wonderful progress in dealing with your CPTSD. Good for you.

I can't comment on the headache issue, but maybe others will be along later with some thoughts for you. There is a forum section on co-morbidities - if you haven't found it yet I'd suggest you have a look in there in case there is any helpful information. I have had to deal with a lot of fatigue lately - from medical problems but not helped by the CPTSD. I have found the only way to deal with it is to try to be kind to myself and to differentiate, if possible, between times when it is not too damaging to power through and times when I simply must respect the fatigue and rest. I have, however, found exercise to be a great benefit and many a time it has perked me up. So for times when I feel tired but it is not obviously bone-crushing fatigue that requires rest I will generally start to do the exercise I had planned. However, because I usually don't feel like it, I promise myself that I will reconsider after ten to fifteen minutes and if I am still not feeling right I can stop. That cuts out any feeling of failure at "giving up" on an exercise session but also gives my system enough time to rev up if it is going to.

[Tishie]

Thank-you for the suggestion to check out the co-morbidities category.  It was helpful. 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Tishie!

My first reaction to your brain pain and fatigue is for you to head for a physician. While these symptoms may relate to your trauma, it could also be something unrelated and that's what you need to find out first and foremost IMO.

And if the first GP doesn't find anything or refer you to a specialist, it's always good to get a second opinion because some things are not easily diagnosed. (My son is in 4th yr medicine and so I have some good insider info about that.)

Hope this is helpful.

[Chart]

Hello Tishie. Welcome to the forum. I agree with Kizzie. If this is something relatively new a doctor is a good idea. But the mind-body link is important to recognize and our brains are also part of our bodies. I find it interesting to consider this "overlap". Normally we separate the two but the brain also has a mechanical aspect just like the rest of the body. So mindfulness might be an avenue to explore. Seems you're pretty self aware already. Perhaps exploring meditation and breathing techniques. Just throwing some ideas out there. Hope things improve soon.