Blue's introduction

[blueteddy]

Hi. I am blue. I am 23. I live in Indonesia.

I have suffered extreme abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and religious—at the hands of my parents, siblings, and relatives from the age of 4 (possibly even earlier) until now.

Indonesia has never been a safe place for me; I've faced abuse everywhere I've been for my whole life—at school, home, universities, workplaces, and hospitals. It's not just my family; I've been abused by classmates, friends, ex-partners, strangers, teachers, school counselors, lecturers, co-workers, hospital staff, nurses, doctors, and psychiatrists. When I tried to seek help, whether from neighbors, relatives, school counselors, doctors, psychiatrists, or local organizations, they either refused to help or dismissing my experiences.

I also have a bunch of chronic illnesses and being neglected completely medically and daily necessities also neglected by family.

Right now i am still in the same situation and trying to find an escape.

Right now i am also dealing with a painful current break up from my former partner that i love more than anything.

I am fragile. I am a child. I am a kid. Despite my biological age and whatever people say to me. I like to be free and express myself. I age regressed a lot. I have alters. I like plushies. I like childlike stuff. I like being childlike. I like expressing who i really am.

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome to OOTS. I'm sorry you are struggling.