Hello - New to the Forum world

[Just_keep_Swimming]

Hello! I am 26 and over the following year I have been working on my C-PTSD journey. Originally, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Once I accepted and finally spoke of my childhood, things obviously changed. The answers as to why medication never worked finally hit me. I don't have an imbalance, I am traumatized and everything "wrong" with me was Soley due to my upbringing and how my brain and body grew up with what I was given. I spent my whole existence thinking I was a glitch. I literally kept telling everyone that no one fully grasps what is wrong. I am sad, lonely, disconnected. I had 0 self-love, compassion or motivation to do anything. I burned every opportunity given to me due to my inability to accept that I too deserve a great life. It wasn't until last year I was watching a Tik Tok. of all places. and a woman posted about the differences between C-PTSD and BPD. Everyone always wanted to slap BPD and Bipolar on me ... but it never made sense. When I looked up C-PTSD it was like a light bulb went off. I was diagnosed after speaking of every trauma I could remember. Up until this point I repressed and suppressed so much from age 6-26 I couldn't wrap my mind around how I could possibly have a PTSD diagnosis go unseen until now. Once I started opening up it became clear. There is absolutely nothing "wrong" with me. I wasn't loved, nurtured, cared for or given the stability and safety I needed growing up. Until I was 16 years old, I was in the grasps of my bio parent. I spent from 16-until last year lost floating through life just carrying on. Ignoring. This has been a new chapter for me. I have been no contact with my bio family on that side going on 4 years now. I am under supervision of a therapist, but I wanted to come on here and just speak with like-minded people... No one around me has C-PTSD and no one dares speak of the struggles in endured/ thoughts I still struggle with. I spent my whole life dreading my existence, now that I have that drive to live life fully, I want to engage with others who too have been lost. I hope in this Forum we find peace and acceptance.

[Kizzie]

You're in the right place Just Keep Swimming. We are all here to try and recover from being abused/neglected and we all get it. Honestly it's a good thing that you understand it's what happened to you not you and at an earlier age than so many of us. There was nowhere near what's available now even 10 years back when this forum started.

So bravo to you for getting yourself here and I truly hope you find it helpful! 

[Chart]

Welcome Just_keep_Swimming, You figured it out and at 26!!! That fills me with hope for the future. We're understanding Cptsd more and more, getting deeper and deeper into solutions and effective healing.

Of course it'd be great if one day society became fully conscious of the source of Cptsd, but sadly I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

In the meantime the cat's finally outta the bag and those who know are ready to share and support. Very sorry for your past, but very happy you found this place.
-Chart

[NarcKiddo]

Hello and welcome. You will find plenty of acceptance here on the forum. I think peace is something you have to find for yourself as it looks different for everyone, but I have found people on the forum are very generous in sharing what has worked for them and helping (if the are asked) others consider what they might like to try.