Anyone have friends/partners in war zones --

[Ari]

My closest friend is a reporter working in the Middle East -- I also grew up in that area -- so it is always on my mind -- the country I grew up in is still home -- anyway, I find it very difficult to deal with the constant worry about her safety.  Have fears of ISIS/AQAP, etc. snatching her -- anyone else with friends, relatives, partners away in war torn areas?

[CreativeCat]

Hi Ari,

I notice you wrote this in April- has your friend now returned?

When I first met my SO he was due to go out to the middle East on military service- in some ways I think I was attracted (partly) to the familiarity that this absence and anxiety  triggered in me. He has been several times since and our life is always a little unsettled. My therapist thinks I have been repeating previous trauma - when i became more aware of it, I went through a phase of feeling really upset and felt that I'm destined to a life of misery and triggering but my therapist re-framed it that maybe I'm destined to work through what happened to me. It does get easier every time and has made us stronger I think.

Was your friend going away similar for you? How did you manage?

[Dutch Uncle]

Yes Ari, I have.

I just made a post about my own (brief) experiences in that region and how it may affect me now. http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1943.0

I have friends there. Family even, in their view. You probably know how 'easy' you get to become 'family' there.
Such a different way of dealing with 'family'-bonds they have there, from a 'western' perspective. (And I am a 'Westerner').

I was 'adopted' so to speak.
My extended-adopted family is safe. Displaced though, but thankfully outside the war-torn country itself.

Many others, co-workers, acquaintances, friendly shop-keepers etc. etc... I don't know.
The constant reporting on the violence in the region is heartbreaking. Seeing the destruction, the death. Many places I went for leisure are now turned into rubble. It's hard to watch the pictures or video's of it.
I tend to look away, but sometimes I just need to see it. Witness it.
Can't take my eyes of it.
And always, I do not see the destruction, but I see those who I have known. And I realize how much they must suffer.


The helplessness I experience is the worst of all.
And there is no end in sight.


I wish for your friend's healthy return.

Take care.