Survived Shoulder Surgery

[tiggerd2]

Well, I survived my shoulder surgery and staying with my parents. I tried to get out of it but they wouldn't believe me when I said I'd be ok with home health.

After surgery, the doc said he didn't know how I could use my arm because of the damage. There are a lot of studies talking about ability to have high tolerance to pain. My doc went from telling me Ultram was highly addictive to prescribing me 90 tabs of oxycodone (take 3 every 4 hours, if pain worse, take 4.-not as PRN) and extended release Oxycodone. PT to start in 4-6 wks.

At times it was ok but tolerable. At one point, I couldn't handle my dad's anger and had to leave. I told my mom either she could bring me home or I would call a cab. She brought me home.

I was so triggered I couldn't sleep. Sat with back against wall facing door with gun in my lap. I was afraid he'd break in and hurt me. He has tried to break in before.

[tiggerd2]

Other part of shoulder surgery-
My dad had to have surgery yesterday.
About a week ago my dad told my mom he had to go to rehab because his psychiatrist was afraid I would take over care and he would be helpless. We see the same psychiatrist and I called him. He said he brought it up because of my shoulder surgery and my mom having difficulty taking care of him.  So the lies begin.

My parents had gone to my post op visit. The nurse brought me back and closed the door to take out sutures. The PA opened door slightly and asked if my dad could come in and I said after the sutures were out. The doc came right after, closed the door and began talking to me. After a minute or so, I said to hold on and went to get my parents. I told him I wanted my parents there. After a little over a minute, the doc got up and closed the door again. I got up and opened door. My parents came in. My dad with NP smile and charm.
My mom asked about me driving and doc said legally no but people normally drive after 2 weeks. I asked about going home (facial expression- pleading to say yes) he said he thought it would be fine as long as someone could get ice.

My dad was talking to my sister saying I was doing all the things the doc said not to do and was going to drive. He said I shut the door in his face so they couldn't talk to the doc. I heard that and walked by. I said "tell the truth". My dad said "Shut up D'Ann". Same voice tone, same facial expression, same everything he would do right before he would beat the tar out of me. I panicked, got angry and began to shake.
That's when I told my mom she had to take me home. My dad went to get ice. I tried to tell her the things he had been telling me for years about her including if he was having a problem, she would walk over him to get by.
My dad got back before I could finish packing and my mom told him I was leaving. He said something acidic which I couldn't understand. She asked if he had ever said the things I told her and of course he lied.

My mom asked if I would go with them to hosp for surgery because he loves me so much and would be so hurt. All I could do was cry and say "same voice tone, same facial expression, same everything right before he would beat the tar out of me".  Thursday night I finally said I would go.
He didn't talk to me on way to hosp. Right before he went in to surgery, he gave sickening sweet smile and said I love you so much.  I told him I loved him.
After surgery and he felt better, he called my flying monkey sisters and mom, not me. Last night my mom said she would tell me how he was doing after she got home. The target which I am felt hurt she didn't ask me to go.
Today he called my mom and sisters, not me. Again feel hurt he was giving me the silent treatment.