No social life due to triggers

[Indigochild]

Hey Oxygen

I have to say, i do love you username! It makes me chuckle, although it is very profound. 

Ha, im glad you like the thread.
It sucks that you feel so awful about going to work and being around people.
It must be so difficult for you. Reminds me of my school days.

Maybe your not anxious about the job itself but the people?
Do you feel able to ask your therapist what she suggest to help you to get to that place where you can meet people?
Do you know why you feel so bad around others? you dont have to tell me, I just thought that it might help you get to that place, and maybe help things to be a bit better.

Maybe there is something stopping you, and not just the anxiety, but maybe that thing also makes the anxiety not stop.
There are lots of things that get in my way of connecting with others, that make me not really want to connect while I believe these things to be true.

It is not your fault this is the way it is. You are doing your best in the moment and *moments*.

Love and light to you too and i hope it wont be this way forever for you.

[Boatsetsailrose]

I always viewed that as a kid I didn't have any friends - but that wasn't true. I did I just always felt so fearful ---
People are scary !! They can hurt in ways beyond measure right --

I am now learning to branch some more as I feel stronger with a better self identity - it taken work and time out and it's worth it

Def agree with the self compassion - my t showed me that too -
We can be so hard on ourselves when what we need is to be soft and affirming

[Indigochild]

Hi Boatsetsailrose

I understand what you are saying.
My partner tells me that people like me and want me around.
Other people dont know i think they dont like me.
But i say about having no friends because i dont hang out with others that much as its triggering, therefore i have no meaningful connections with anyone- not even casual friends - extremely casual.

Yes people are scary. I am glad to hear you have branched out. It must of taken some work to get to that.

Do you ever feel or did you feel that you cant be soft and affirming on yourself? / yourselves?
I do believe that this story of an abusive childhood is not mine, even though my T is telling me it is. It sometimes seems so unreal and never dreamed it would be my story.
I feel in the moment that i can not be compassionate or kind to myself, in case I'm being fooled that my struggles are real when they are not.
i know its illogical, i just cant see it as abuse that is deeply engrained that may be making me doubt and unable to give myself self compassion.
I hope this makes sense.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi
Yes I did feel I couldn't be soft and affirming - it felt yuk - the whole love yourself thing -
When I did any of that stuff - talked to myself as a friend etc it just felt false and stupid -
But I did it anyway

My mind is extremely critical of both me and others and will tell me I'm crap etc -
Psychological damage in action

Today I don't believe it ( after the therapy and just say oh that one again and over ride it with something more affirming -

It's all a process and I believe we all have our own journey that is never the same as another's - the recovery one needs in certain ways and time frames differs
From the next .. But similarly there are similarities and themes

Taking time out to be with me and not with others was very healing - I had to reach a place of some security and identity to start branching out again
And getting away from this 'no one likes me I'm worthless something wrong with me belief
Also before I'd put all my efforts into one friendship and expect everything from them now I'm learning to be less intense and spread my attentions

Until I had a stable enough foundation I couldn't have successful relating and that makes perfect sense - the inside reflects the outside

I'm a work in progress but I seem to be out of the woods - the process of healing from foo has been long for me 42 yrs old now and been working on this since early 20s
I am so grateful to feel the way I do now but I couldn't bring it on any quicker by being frustrated or self pitying or beating self - though frustration has been a motivator to healing

I joined a walking group recently and that has been so good - having an activity between me and others really helps !

But above all it seems that the relationship with me is the biggest key - the damage inside has to be fully managed to re set back to a normal functioning and when it does I realise I am a richer person for it - a depth to me average joe doesn't have

Strive for the real you and gifts await
Don't give up - don't beat self up

[Jdog]

Oxygen-

Be safe.  Glad the mantra is helping you.  My therapist gave that great gift to me, along with "the commitment is daily." 

May we all come to know how great we really are, with or without others.