More than one T

[Dyess]

I don't feel angry with her, I was hoping this would be the person that could direct me to where I need to be and how to do that. That's all I wanted, no type of therapeutic relationship, no more than I would have with anyone on a business transaction. So she is being who she is and I can't fault her for that. It would be nice to find someone like you have found though.
The same thing happened with the other T, my first f2f t. She was really nice and I fell into the trap of thinking she cared. After a few sessions she changed, then decided I wasn't ready for counseling. I guess my requesting things to work on between sessions got to her. But I too, felt let down, abandoned, and hurt. So with this T I haven't provided information she hasn't asked for, not requested something between sessions, just kind of rolling with the flow on what she wanted to know and talk about.

[Dyess]

I agree about the first T, just wish she had told me sooner so I could have saved that $150 a session money for something else. But that's the past, gotta move on. The T I'm seeing now, is very  nice and knowledgeable and even offer to read the P Walker book, though I don't think she has because it's not showing in her understanding of what I'm going through. I think most counselors approach CPTSD as PTSD and that's not going to work, I don't think. This lack of understanding the whole concept and complexities of it is so unfair to us. But to be fair I think I need to talk to her about my concerns, I may be leaving her but maybe she could be more helpful with the next CPTSD client.

[Dyess]

Well I emailed my T and asked her about the Pete Walker book. She hasn't read it but maybe she will return it tomorrow since I said our sessions were coming to a close. She actually sent me an email back saying okay and thanks for the heads up. Usually she gets bent out of shape about emails. I do like her and if she had the knowledge of what I was going through I feel sure we could make progress. But since I am dropping the BCBS ins and keeping the VA coverage I will have to use a VA counselor. I may be able to see her a couple more times but the ins. should stop at the end of Sept.
The online counselor has actually been pretty good, she has given me a lot of useful advice. I'm more of a "just the facts m'am" type of person, you can spare me the I care, I'm sorry, that's terrible types of counseling. Just tell me what I need to get better
Still working with work and the LTD, very stressful. Now the employer wants me to come in to look at jobs that I might be interested in??? This sounds a little odd. She could just email them to me. So they must have something up their sleeve. We had agreed that she would do that, email them to me, then all of a sudden that changed and she wants me to come in to her office to look at jobs. Doesn't sound good.

[Dyess]

Call the VA and as usual can't get an appointment with a counselor till November. They really need to work on this system. Canceled my apt with the counselor here for , today, just too much to do right now getting ready for vacation and deciding if I will take Dad's ashes with me this time. Leaving the house so stresses me out, it's almost not worth going on vacation. I will be okay once I get on the road, it's about 4.5 hr drive there. I hate being in a car that long, but hate stopping because it delays getting there.
Anyway, the online counseling is over for now. Fairly impressed with this last one. May reopen it when I get back.

[Dyess]

Thanks SB , yes it is a nice place we are going. I need this time away. We will have computer access but hoping to not use it