Forgotten Reminders

[woodsgnome]

I was listening to a call-in radio show about resolutions and such. One caller talked of how she's still in excruciating pain stemming from a car accident of several years back. She told of how she had decided that if it kept getting worse, she could always end her life...but now she's gotten a tattoo that says something like "I'm stronger than my pain". And being in tattoo form she has it with her, always, and sees it as her daily reminder.

So it got me to wondering--what are my daily reminders? I have several all over the house, and yet how often I take them for granted. I was once in a creative service type of job, and many people brought me little tokens of appreciation for what I did. Most of them are handcrafted items, some would be worth quite a bit as art pieces. So they're all from-the-heart sort of gifts, and I see them daily, and I need them; and  yet so often it's as if they're invisible.

One of them I even took to an "inner journey" type 5-day intensive group I was in a few years ago. For the last day we were to choose something that is a bit of a stretch to want to give up. I chose one of these art works—a handmade, stained-glass item fashioned and given to me by a "troubled" youth group I'd performed a one-person play for. To give that away was a stretch, yes; but I reasoned I'd had it a while, and could give it away, and maybe it had served its time with me, etc.,   

So I brought the wrapped piece with me, set it in the gift pile, and the facilitator asked for a volunteer to use their intuition and distribute the gifts to whoever they felt it was meant for. This sounds a tad corny, perhaps, but it was a demo of how the universe works together, how group energy can work, etc. I'd been at a couple of these events before, and had seen how almost always people ended up with something they welcomed into their life, for various reasons. After the gifts made it to the "new" owners, the recipients would explain something about what it seemed to mean for them.

This particular day, that stained-glass object, nicely wrapped and with no indication who had put it there (no names attached), was carefully picked by the person distributing the wrapped items. I of course knew what was in the package coming my way once her deliberations had ended. I said nothing 'til my turn came, and then explained how I often received gifts like this, how this one came to be, and what receiving it meant to me.  And how stunned I was, but knew instantly the message: Love yourself, and know how much you'd meant to those whose lives you touched.

I shakily explained how I had a hard time acknowledging that I am somebody, that I really do touch others, that I have a talent and that I don't appreciate myself that way; that I was numb to people saying good things about me, that it somehow didn't register.

So I guess, like the gal with her tattoo reminding her, I have all these gifts to remind me, such as the stained-glass object; yet how often don't I look right at them and forget the message they share: I am a worthy human being...despite all the pain it took for me then, and now, to realize this.

Thanks for listening. We're all learning that we truly are deserving people. Yet...it's soooo hard.

[Dutch Uncle]

What a wonderful story, woodsgnome. I love it.

It reminds me of a 'treasure box' I have. The box itself is a treasure too. A beloved girlfriend made it for me. "January 1999", she wrote in it. "for your objects. Which objects? You get to decide."
I keep it closed.
Though in sight.
I probably should leave it open. And let the content shine. What's inside is precious.

Thanks.