I'm back as another rock bottom

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi I used the site last yr and have been away focusing on food addiction..
I am now back as relapsed and struggling with the symptoms of cptsd .. It seems I have come to the point where I need more support. I went to the gp this morning and I have been referred to adult psychiatry -
I did do short term work with child trauma therapist last yr but it wasn't long enough to integrate it I then came off anti dep and the past few wks have been mentally really hard hence food relapse ..
I am in a quandary as to wether  to take anti depressants again ( hate side effects and yes have tried many ) but tbh can't see I can work without them ...so good to have the option --
All experience welcome
I have the Pete walker book but tbh I find it really difficult to process and get my head around --
Where do I go from here -
Tired with it all

[Dutch Uncle]

Welcome back, Boatsetsailrose!  and 

I'm so sorry to hear you've hit rock bottom. 

But I'm happy you have found us, again.

"Where do I go from here?" you ask.
I'm so glad you turned to your GP this morning. That really is marvelous. You may feel it's not, but you are taking care of yourself. Which is great. 
About anti-depressents I know nothing, but as you say: it's good to have the option, and you have experience yourself. This time you might be able to find a better balance. I sure do hope and wish that for you. 

As you may have seen, we have started on some Group Work, where we work through various recourses. Perhaps some of those might be a better match for you than Pete Walker's book.

A warm welcome again.
If you don't mind me saying so: I'm happy we meet again, although I can relate with you wanting the circumstances had been different. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank u Dutch uncle
I will take a look at that

[I like vanilla]

Boatsailrose 

It sounds like you are going through some difficult times right now. 

I am sorry to hear you have 'hit rock bottom'. But very admiring of your courage that you are seeking support to get back on track.

[Kizzie]

Hi Boats, so very sorry to hear you are in a difficult place    It sounds though like you are doing the things that will help - going to your doc, getting a referral, coming back to the board and talking about what's going on, and considering whether or not to go back on antidepressants.  Your doc and whomever you see in the P clinic may have some good information/opinions about anti-depressants.   FWIW, I don't like taking them either but I consider it like taking insulin for diabetes, my body/brain isn't able to produce enough of its own serotonin so I take something that helps me with that.  Just my perspective though.

Welcome back and I hope you you will regain your equilibrium ASAP   .   

PS - You might not feel up to reading anything right now that relates to your food addiction, but if/when you are you might want to take a look at  "Always Hungry?" by Dr. David Ludwig, a well known endocrinologist from the US. I found it quite informative and it gave me a different perspective on cravings, over-eating ....