How did life get to this ....

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi
I'm feeling despairing but because I take an anti depressant it is bare able ...
But I feel like 'how did my life get to this '
I'm 43 now and I look at my life and go really ?
I live in a shared house, in a job I find is way above my head - work a 4 day week as can't cope with more , money is tight , got out of a 4 yr relationship and then came out of denial as a gay women ,
Struggle mentally with my memory and cognitive ability ( was it always like this but now seeing it more as not using addictions ? - not sure ) . Lack friends and don't have anyone close really and am struggling big time learning to drive
The thing I ask so 'is it that my life is bad or is it the way I'm looking at it ?
If I turn it around and put some gratitude in I can say
I have a roof over my head
A job that pays
Chance of better future employment that isn't so stressful and difficult
One day I will pass my driving
I have some friends
I have hope of doing some more therapy in the future and hope to come off tablets

Any one else relate to feeling down about their life ?
Do most people go through difficult periods and feel like they are just surviving ?
Am I going through some kind of mid life crisis ?
Do I need a partner to be happy ?

[Three Roses]

Sorry you're going thru such a rough time! Yes I can relate to feeling down about my life but it's helpful to remind myself of happy times and good friends in those moments; I count my blessings and most of the time the clouds lift.

As far as a midlife crisis, I don't know ... but I know for sure the only person you NEED is you! Sometimes being in a relationship is a help, sometimes a hindrance. Just like being single.  

Keep us updated, 'cuz we care <3

[LanaBanana]

Boatsetsailrose, you are definitely not the only one who feels bad about their life. I think we all go through tough times sometimes. I'm sorry you're feeling that way though 

I know that for me, on some days, my life looks pretty bleak. I can relate to feeling like you don't have many (or any) meaningful connections, and that can seem pretty sad at times.
I don't think you need a relationship or a partner to be happy though, placing your expectations on one person is usually not healthy. You can work on yourself (with or without a Therapist) to feel better about yourself and less stuck and depressed in your situation. I think you already have started, seeing as though you wrote down some of the positive aspects of your life as well. There is always room for improving your situation, but that usually starts with you, not an external source such as a relationship. A partner can improve the quality of your life, but it is still work to maintain.

I hope this helps! Like Three Roses said, keep us posted, we care! 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you ..
Today is another bad day -- I started off ok and went downhill as the day went on ...
I'm going to read a book now and meditate

[Three Roses]

 

[healingjourney]

I hope you feel better. I find that if I can look for reasons to be grateful and happy it makes my days so much better. Comparing my life to others' outsides is the worst. Comparing my life to 3rd world countries we have it good! I love reading also. I will search and search and then eat up words of a great author I relate to.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you healing journey - is so true I forget about gratitude when I'm in that mindset - daily is good

[Dee]

I don't think I can help you because I am right there with you, other than I can drive. 

I'm not gay, but I am so not interested in a relationship with anyone ever again so it doesn't matter anyway.

I'm 42 and I am asking myself the exact same question right now. 

I'm not much help other than to say you are most definitely not alone.  Perhaps you have been reading my mind.