I'm scared they'll say it's 'personality issues'

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi
I have an assessment coming up with psychiatrist -
I'm scared
Scared of what I'll say - sometimes I don't even know how to explain my experiences or what is really happening with me

I'm also scared they will say 'personality issues ' as that is what they said last time.

The difference now though is I did see primary services and did some work with child trauma therapist she said it did seem my thoughts were right on cptsd
So that has to count when I see the psych right ?

I'm scared my worst fear is they say bpd ( which really seems what my mother has
But I own lots of empathy and I don't lash out and hurt others

[Dutch Uncle]

The difference now though is I did see primary services and did some work with child trauma therapist she said it did seem my thoughts were right on cptsd
So that has to count when I see the psych right ?

I'd say so. 

I can relate to your scare.
I started a psych evaluation around this time last year. It took a while, and went up for the SCID-II test (on personality disorders) in the end. I was scared too. It turned out I haven't any.

I wish you a good evaluation. All I can say is: be brutally honest with them. It will give you the secure feeling you haven't 'fooled' them, or pretended to be somebody you aren't.
That's hard to do. I remember well.
During the test I did 'change' some answers 'on the fly'. I would change a 'vague' answer to a 'firm' one.
Never the other way around.
(which is not to say I didn't give any vague answers by the way. Some things are 'vague'. No problem. But sometimes I was just shy or shameful about the 'truth'. Which at times I had the courage to 'correct', and be upfront about it. Probably there were times as well I couldn't do that. I can't remember. I only remember that I was as honest as I could possibly be at that time. And pushed the envelope a bit on it. They are pro's. They've heard plenty of stuff before, like the stuff I've told them. They must have. So why withhold it?
Again, easier said than done.
Try.)

Be you. As you are 'today'.
A hard task for us cPTSD-folks.
But that's who you are today. Show them.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you Dutch uncle - yes this is what I am learning 'to stop faking it
Honesty

[Dutch Uncle]

 

You go Girl! 

Keep us posted, if you wish to do so.

[Kizzie]

One thing being at OOTS has shown me is that T's are not infallible and they do misdiagnose us as having BPD, DID, etc.  Would you be comfortable asking how knowledgeable the person you see is about CPTSD?   

[Boatsetsailrose]

I didn't go in the end -- it just didn't feel right and like I'd be misunderstood and I wasn't prepared to go through that ...

[Kizzie]

I hear you Boats, it's being invalidated all over again if the pdoc doesn't know about CPTSD and labels you with BPD.  If/when you go again, you might want to take this along regarding the differences between between CPTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):

"BPD is characterized by fear of abandonment, shifting self-image or self-concept, shifting idealization and devaluation in relationships, and frequent impulsive and suicidal behaviors" whereas in Complex PTSD "the fear of abandonment is not a requirement of the disorder, self-identify is consistently negative rather than shifting, and relational disturbances highlight chronic avoidance of relationships rather than sustained chaotic engagement" (p, 3).

Reference: Cloitre, M., Garvert, D., Weiss, B., Carlson, E. & Bryant, R. (2014). Distinguishing PTSD, Complex PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder: A latent class analysis. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 5.

I found some fact sheets about trauma at the Blue Knot Foundation (http://www.blueknot.org.au/WHO-WE-ARE/Our-Documents/Fact-Sheets), one of which is for professionals that may also be helpful to take along if/when you go - http://www.blueknot.org.au/Portals/2/Fact%20Sheets%20Info/ASCA%20Fact%20Sheet_Health%20Practitioners.pdf

[Dutch Uncle]

I didn't go in the end -- it just didn't feel right and like I'd be misunderstood and I wasn't prepared to go through that ...