HIghly Sensitive People and Empaths

[sanmagic7]

kizzie,

best to you on your new adventure.  i hope you find wonderful results.

[ChaosQueen]

Hi fellow HSPs, 
Before I found out that I was HSP, I thought all people would experience the world as I did and suffer as much. I thought they could just cope better. And if people laughed out loud near me, I thought that they would cause me discomfort on purpose.
When I started reading about HSPs, I started asking people directly, if a sound would cause them physical pain. They said no. Some people actually enjoy loud music! I cannot fathom this. Most people actually filter incoming sensory stimuli. They can sit in a restaurant and focus on what the person sitting opposite them is saying. I can't follow a group conversation or a conversation taking place in a noisy or crowded place. Every sound is equally salient and enters unfiltered into my brain.
I thought all people would see sounds as colors and hear every letter of the alphabet and number in a different color. Then I found out it is called synesthesia. No wonder I get sensory overstimulation often, when I both see and hear sounds!
In theory, I would be able to enjoy little details of life that other people don't notice. Or be in rapture about a painting or sunset. I do appreciate beauty, but I just don't experience such positive emotions. People have told me that I have artistic talents, since I have such a good eye for details. But I don't find time to paint because I can't get a grip on my everyday life.
So, like most of you, I'm quite skeptical of seeing HSP as a "gift". I'd rather call it "sensory processing disorder."
I've been reading about the correlation between HSP and C-PTSD. Highly sensitive people are in fact traumatized more easily. Neurotypical children are more resilient. HSPs are especially prone to C-PTSD, when their perceptions and emotions were never validated. Also, trauma can cause some heightened sensitivity.
HSP is an inborn trait that about 20% of the population has. There are visible neurological differences in the brain structure. Also 20% of mammals have it. It helps the species survive, since the highly sensitive ones among them notice danger sooner and discover hidden sources of food. In hunter-gatherer societies, the HSPs are the shamans and highly revered. Unfortunately for us, in our modern society, it is neither approved of nor being considered.

[ChaosQueen]

v,

i don't know of any switch to turn off empathy.  i do believe, however, that sometimes, for some people, empathy of great proportions can be turned into a positive with a change of perspective.  can this help bring you closer to people?  can it stir your creative juices in a positive way?  can you utilize it as a warning device in your life that will help you avoid negative or dangerous people?  and, conversely, can it help your ability to 'feel' if someone might be worth taking a chance with as far as a relationship goes (whatever shape or form that relationship might take)?

i am curious to know how this has caused your c-ptsd.   i haven't heard of this yet, but am interested.

Hi Sanmagic7,

Here is my 2 cents of why being an empath could cause C-PTSD:

As an empath, I experience other people's emotions as my own. Or even stronger than my own. I can't tell whether the emotion I am experiencing is my own or someone else's. I am highly sensitive to criticism, and I perceive acutely if someone is displeased. I don't know the reason, since I cannot read minds, but I automatically think I have done something wrong. When I grew up, I acutely felt my mother's depression and other constant negative moods. I experienced her lack of positive response to me as criticism and contempt. Every verbal abuse was magnified in my mind.
No wonder that HSP children are much more affected by trauma and abuse than neurotypical children!
Crowds totally overwhelm me. I don't look people in the eyes but look at a distant spot behind their heads, so that my eyes are unfocused, when I talk to them. Meeting new people overwhelms me, since I perceive so much of the other person and it's a lot to take in. When someone is in need of help, I feel it, but usually I feel too overwhelmed to actually help. Then I feel bad about myself.
I haven't found a switch to turn off the oversensitivity to other people's emotions, either.
Nor does It bring me closer to people. I am generally wary of people and their emotions. Being around people can be so exhausting! I need a lot of alone time to recoop. Mostly, I avoid close relationships. I love other people and I do want to be around them, but I get so easily overwhelmed. If I meet a "dangerous" person, I feel compassion for them, want to make them feel better, and feel compulsively drawn to them....

[sanmagic7]

thanks, chaosqueen.

i know i have always been hyper-sensitive to other people in pain, especially when i was very young, but i never used to be too bothered by noise until about 20 yrs. ago, when i began getting sick.  i went to concerts, i was fine in crowds, loud noises didn't bother me - i loved being in bars and hanging around loud, rowdy people.  i still laugh loudly, but as the symptoms of my c-ptsd have strengthened, it's been almost in direct contrast to the amount of stimulation i can take, which is very little.

conversely, i had built a pretty tough shell around myself, and could deal with clients in all kinds of pain without feeling a thing.   i had also protected myself so well that i had no sense of compassion for friends, etc.   nowadays, i don't think i'd be able to do my job as therapist very well at all.  i'd be crying all over the place right along with whoever was in my office!  luckily, i'm retired, so it's a moot point.   and, i can barely get through a tv series without shedding tears for one reason or another.  weird how this has worked.

i think, when i was asking those questions, i was thinking of being an 'empath' in a different way.  i understand now what you meant, and can see that my questions didn't really relate to what you've been talking about.  i hope i didn't offend. 

[ChaosQueen]

Sanmagic7,
No, no, you didn't offend in any way! This is just what I think about being an empath. Probably everyone defines it differently for themselves.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you for your sharings. I forget I am an empath/ hsp and go into thinking I'm just weird so thank u for helping me remember and that I can stop beating myself ( such a common occurance I might add

I bought a tuning fork ( the cheap one you can buy in music shops ) I read it rebalances internal energy .. I love it u bang it on something hard and they put it near an ear and send it over the head to the other ear .. I really like how it makes me feel
I find anything I can do to 're feel being in my body helps .. I've put my yoga mat out permanently now and do 10 mins stretching - I'm even doing head stands and I find it re calibrates me ... Dr v bessal talks about body work being so valuable in his book

[sanmagic7]

o, boatsetsailrose, i'm glad you can stop beating yourself up for something innate within and about you.  you're not weird, (or we all are who are hsp's!  lol!!!) and you're not alone.  i'm discovering that lately my sensitivity toward others has been ramped up.  i don't know exactly why, but i'm now understanding those who wrote that it can be a curse because it makes me feel horrible for others who have suffered.  maybe it's because i'm beginning to unblock myself from feeling the good from others - what a revelation this might be!

i've been working on being able to feel the kindness, caring, and love from others, but that might mean that, at the same time, everything that had been blocking those positives, as they dwindle, i can now feel even more of the negatives as well.  o dear - a blessing and a curse.  crapola! 

so be it.  i guess i'll have to learn how to balance this, temper it, something.   how to allow the pain of others go through me without hurting me, while allowing the goodness of others become one within me.  sounds like a project.  we'll see what happens.  maybe construct a metaphorical pain shield of some kind.  if i don't, i'll be crying all the time!