My recovery journal

[Compassion_accountable]

Yes 3. My mom which I'm not sure about a diagnosis with her. At first I thought n, then b, may be cptsd with lots of fleas..she isn't "healed" as there are times when I can tell that she's struggling but the extreme accusations as well as triangulation, etc. have stopped. I can tell its hard for her at times but she catches and corrects herself. Then there's mil--who I am NR with unless H is also contacted. my communication with her is strictly with h as a witness--triangulation proof. And then a coworker. So yes, it's been a hard past year.

The good news is that it's all paying off. It will take a bit for me to recover but the tip of success is so good. Never going back. Only forward.

[Compassion_accountable]

It's been a bit since I posted. I've had ok days. Not bad and generally improving but today I had fun. I had almost forgotten what fun felt like. Exciting. Energetic. Invigorating. Fun. It was SO good.

[Rain]

Welcome back, Survivor.

Fun.   That's a good, very good thing.   Healing for the brain.   

Your mom ...have you by chance read the Karyl McBride, When Will I Ever Be Good Enough? book.   It may very well have your mom in there.    Even a few of the narcissist traits, not full-blown NPD impacts a child's life so negatively.

Take care, and keep having Fun!

[Compassion_accountable]

Days are getting better except there's a person who is sending multiple hoovers. I am NOT at all tempted to get sucked back in. I miss that old situation about like I'd miss a bullet in my foot. I keep hoping that if I ignore it, it will stop. No such luck. I'm SO much happier without that drama. Never again.

[Compassion_accountable]

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. H and I agree-its the best we've had in years. We spent Thanksgiving day at home with FOC and then traveled to my grandparents Friday and his parents Saturday. We had good boundaries for both sets of FOO. I saw things in both situations that reinforce our decisions and make me feel good about our boundaries. In H's words "no family *" I agree. It's been a good week.

[schrödinger's cat]

Glad to hear it.    I hope your situation with the hoovering person has improved.

[Badmemories]

Sandal
Glad to hear that You had a good Thanksgiving weekend!

I did too! Doesn't it feel good? I had a meltdown before everyone came. It worked out Ok though... My Mother peeled the potatoes, My SonIL washed the dishes for me so I could finish up the meal... My Son and His GF played with the kids...I found there was LESS Drama with everybody having something to do! Then We had conversation with everybody working! 

I think it was My inner critic talking. Mom was coming and I am in D's home.. and BOTH of them have components of Ocd? ( i put that ? there because I can never Remember the last letter, not the handwashing type though.) I am suspecting that Pharaoh,My inner critic, had a hand in My nervousness!

I am still learning the EF's, Triggers, and dissociating, and trying to separate them!  I was being scatter brained!

Keep on Keeping on! ') 

[Compassion_accountable]

@schrodinger... The hoovering situation has improved. It is what it is.