New here - EMDR Therapy?

[SaraDurga]

Hi Again,

I just had my last "intro" session the other day. She explained to me what was going to happen and we talked about what my first target might be. We will be using the headphones with the beeps; I much preferred that to the vibration thingies.  I am eager to get started next Monday.

She also explained some possible side effects: being tired, as though I've had a big cry; being very cranky or irritable. It will be interesting to see what happens. She also advised me to try to hold off on binge eating if possible if I find myself reaching for it to numb myself, as is what I had learnt to do.

I'm feeling good about this and am looking forward to starting to heal.

[SaraDurga]

Had my first EMDR session yesterday. It went well. Tho, I think bc I am so talkative, we might have been able to get through more. I journaled a lot yesterday night so hopefully that helps.

[sanmagic7]

i'm so glad it went well for you, saradurga!  it sounds like you have a competent therapist who has your best interests at heart by explaining what to expect, etc., taking it slow.  i think journaling is a great idea.  during emdr, there is so much processing going on that things may come to us on a conscious level we weren't aware of before.  being able to write them down may even give you targets for another session.

you may begin dreaming differently as well.  some people keep a dream journal, others don't  it depends on what you find helpful.  and, yes, you may be a bit more tired than usual due to the amount of work you're doing/ the energy you're using to process the relevant material for you.  keep up the good work!  yay!!!

[SaraDurga]

Thank you!

It really is something. Like, I can see how it's like you said- my brain is still processing and working even a week after the session. I am having new things visualize in my head which are sort of cementing or underscoring the healing. Which of course explains why I'm more tired than usual.

And, immediate win: my hubby was gone away for the weekend and I didn't flip out with anxiety. This is a first for me in 11 years of marriage. I made some plans for how to cope and take care of me and my two small kids, and reminded myself to go to bed on time and so on, but on top of that, I was just... fine. I managed things. My kids were great, and I was able to give them what they needed in terms of appropriate activities and rest, and they barely missed Dad. On top of that I decided to see some people in my family - usually very stressful for me - but it went amazingly. Some shame afterwards related to the usual stuff - I talked too much, I was too loud, I overstayed my welcome - but I've since been able to notice it for what it is and have kind of put it in a box to look at later. I see how much I was shamed since a tiny age, so now that I see how it comes out like this, I'm realizing I have a pile of similar things that I can look at later.

Above all, I was amazed at how much I had things together this weekend. The house wasn't a mess, and the thought of emptying the dishwasher wasn't crippling to me as it has been for so many years. I did laundry and folded it, and it was effortless. These simple things had been so incredibly difficult for me in past. I see now how ill I had been for so long, how I was just coping, just holding on by a thinner and thinner thread.

I can really see how EMDR has been best for me at this stage. As I mentioned, I'd done 5 years of CBT. That helped me exactly with that - my behaviours. I see from reflecting on my past and my mother that this is a crucial first layer to crack. And that EMDR might not have been that helpful if I hadn't done that.

I'm hopeful that I can be closer to whole again soon.

[sanmagic7]

i think these opportunities come to us in their time, when we're able to use them best.  so glad for you, saradurga, that yours seems to be following a good, strong foundation.

and, how cool that the weekend went so smoothly, even with family stuff involved.  that's so great.  i'm truly happy for you.

i once heard/read that the body and mind want to be healthy, and that they both keep reaching for what they need to achieve that.  i would guess that's why the brain continues to process, even after days - it's gotten a positive start that it can grab onto.  yay!  i love it when things work out.

[prairiewind]

Hello SaraD. I am close to someone who felt that her EMDR was helpful, but is still needing therapy and meds.

[SaraDurga]

prairie - that was actually going to be my next question re: how "regular" therapy and meds may come in.

I've had a rough week/past few days and ended up in a horrid mood most of yesterday. While I didn't go nuts on anyone and didn't go overboard with the binge eat, and was able to be productive, I felt like crying most of the day and into today. I'm finding myself wondering if maybe I should consider meds again. When I spoke to my doc 1-2 months ago she thought I was okay/my choice and wanted me to get started with EMDR first. After the last 24 hours I'm finding myself wishing I had some kind of relief even if its just temporary.