Lonely ache versus feeling connected

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello
Just sharing where I am at with the 'feeling lonely' experience ..
I've never been one for having a lot of people in my life and sometimes I feel an odd ball for it .. then I remember where I came from and say 'it's ok I'm doing ok and I am growing ...
Not having a partner at the moment and winter being here seems to be triggering the aloneness .. but I know that building friendships is important in this interim period as I don't want to go into my next relationship and be all or nothing about it .. expecting that one person to fill me up to the exclusion of a wider circle ...
Trust and intimacy are my issues in connecting with others I know this and also my own relationship with myself and my self confidence / self assurance..
but I am growing and I am trying and whilst I'm not where I 'want' to be with it all I am here working with what I have
I don't have many friends and I don't have anyone 'close ' in my life sometimes I think it's a big ask for others to forfill the missing family thing ... I crave the 'family feeling - living as part of a circle ... even though my foo were / are disfunctional I still look back with fond memories and feelings ...
no one does it like family / having a partner does ... now I'm in my 40's friendships arnt as time connected as they were in my 20's the days of 'best friend have left me somewhat ...

[Boatsetsailrose]

I did some meditation today and was shown I am now on a path of the heart ... if anyone has any thoughts on this I'd appreciate ..
it feels like I need to connect with myself somehow through my heart ... but I don't know how ? Does this make any sense ??

[Three Roses]

Maybe what you were shown has something to do with the heart chakra?

There's a link to a test on this page, as well as some info on the different chakras.

https://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/introduction.php

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you dear three roses ... wow it's really good and I got to see that my base chakras are where I can work on ( I knew this but now I have a clearer foundation to work on them
Many thanks
The questionnaire also helped me to see what I am good at very good

[Three Roses]

 

[woodsgnome]

Boatsetsailrose, you said: "...whilst I'm not where I 'want' to be with it all I am here working with what I have." That's all you need to realize, I feel; a pretty good achievement all on its own. It doesn't have lights flashing or anything grand announcing you've made it to that elusive somewhere.

I'm pretty much traveling the same route...all the grandiose plans I might have once had per friends and relationships especially are pretty much over the cliff. But I'm still here, still think I'm an okay person (if hurting), and I haven't given up; just don't have a clear picture of how or where I'm headed, and don't know if that's really what it's cracked up to be anyway.

My take on the infamous 'other' (person, thing, event, object, etc.) is that yes, there certainly are those I'd like to know and share with--lots of them, and maybe even a special one; but as a complete and interesting enough person all on my own, too. I'm not out to impress any 'other', but to learn and share with them as complete beings (including what we call 'flaws' or 'faults').

Today I ran into this little prose-poem that speaks to this:

You don't have to be the best.
You don't have to win.
You only have to remember
this intimacy with
the sky, the nearness of the
mountains and feel the warmth
of the sun on your face
and know that you are alive,
and that you are a success,
and victorious,
without having to prove
a damn
thing.

- by Jeff Foster
----------------------------------------------------------

"...here with what I have" is how you put it, Boatsetsailrose; and what you have is a loving heart...complete and already in place. Thanks for sharing a bit of it here. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you woods gnome ...
so good
Love Jeff foster ... spent a wk end with him in his earlier retreat / meeting days ( I think I've said to u b4)
Now he is mostly over seas and so I catch him on face book

[Boatsetsailrose]

Urr felt lonely today ... off to a meeting now to connect ..
I have been ill so spent much of the week on my own..
so easily can get into self hatred and today I felt really sad 'I wish I was important to someone' and then this little voice inside said 'you are important to me ' it was very comforting
Today and for many months now I didn't use an addiction ... i can see clearly how my patterns go and what I used to use addictions on

[Three Roses]

 

i'm so glad that little voice spoke up

[Manchesterford]

Struggling with this also.  First Christmas since separated - alone for first time in ten years. I've been working on the chakras.  Heart and solar plexus for me!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank u three roses x
Ps I don't seem to have the little jumping icons anymore

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi manchesterford
Yes the 1st Christmas will have its feelings hey ... all that love can go inwards now and learning to be more self compassionate x
Kind to self
Thank u for the chakra reminder - I would like to do some work on my bases