Dissociation?

[thelittlebirb]

So I've never been able to ascertain whether or not I actually dissociate or whether it's something else entirely, it's not that I don't recognize some of the symptoms in myself but I suppose self-doubt makes it hard for me to trust my own diagnosis, so I'd like some opinions on the matter. I'm aware I should probably go to a professional but the my local area is painfully lacking in training for therapists, especially in regards to anything PTSD related, so I'm turning here because I'm not sure where else I can really go.

Usually I suddenly get a sense of feeling outside my body, like when you're in a dream and you're vaguely controlling from a first person view but it doesn't seem like your own body, if that makes sense. I'm aware of it, I can acknowledge almost immediately that it's happening but that doesn't stop it from happening, I still continue to feel it until it passes. Usually it happens when I'm stressed, like if I'm at work and there are lots of loud people about the place. I can continue serving and functioning pretty well, it just doesn't feel as if I'm doing it.

Other times there's this sense of the world not being real? This is the one that feels silly. Perhaps I'll see a cloud that looks too nice to be real or scenery that's just so striking that it looks like something from a game/television show and then I'm washed with this really disturbing sense of 'nothing around you is real'. It's like the above feeling but in reverse, as if I'm the only real thing. Is that dissociation as well? Often I'm calm and happy before this one happens, which I suppose is why it's so jarring to me, it's not a stress response at all and it usually ends up making me feel dizzy/unwell.

I just don't know if I should be concerned, so some help on this matter would be much appreciated. Also, to note, I do suffer quite terrible anxiety, so I'm not sure if that could be a contributing factor.

[mourningdove]

Check this out, thelittlebirb:

What is depersonalization?

Depersonalization is the sense of being detached from, or "not in" one's body. This is what is often referred to as an "out-of-body" experience. However, some people report rather profound alienation from their bodies, a sense that they do not recognize themselves in the mirror, recognize their face, or simply feel not "connected" to their bodies in ways which are challenging to articulate (Frey, 2001; Guralnik, Schmeidler, & Simeon, 2000; Maldonado et al., 2002; Simeon et al., 2001; Spiegel & Cardeña; Steinberg, 1995).

What is derealization?

Derealization is the sense of the world not being real. Some people say the world looks phony, foggy, far away, or as if seen through a veil. Some people describe seeing the world as if they are detached, or as if they were watching a movie (Steinberg, 1995).

http://www.isst-d.org/default.asp?contentID=76#diss

The whole page is worth reading, imo, but the section I pasted is what I was reminded of by your account.

[Fightsong]

Yes  what mourningdove said. That sounds like de-personalization / derealization.