Caused by too much pressure?

[Elphanigh]

Does anyone else have them due to having too much pressure put on them? I feel like I can handle bucket loads of stress everyday, all day... but when the right person is pushing me to make a decision about a personal relationship it flips a switch... I feel like I am being pushed into a corner, and instantly panic.. I get all the signs of a bad EF almost like turning on a switch.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[sanmagic7]

o, yes.  this doc stuff does it to me.  all the tests they want me to do, vaccinations they want me to get - i just get overwhelmed and freeze.  appts. to keep, different people to see and talk to.  yesterday was a big ef for me.  just felt out of control, lost, head spinning.  couldn't think straight.  it was an awful day.  hugs to you.

[Elphanigh]

Hugs to you as well, my dear friend. You are going through so much, and being so strong lately. 
I am glad to know it isn't just me. My reaction isn't a freeze like yours, mine is a flee.. My instinct is to run or fight. It is validating to know this can cause efs for someoen else too. Thank you 

[Dee]

I've certainly had it happen.  I have finally learned to set boundaries with the person.  For me it was a boundary issue that led to pressure and panic.  I had trouble saying no and constantly asked if I did something.  Now I remember to think about it.  If the answer is demanded it is always no.  I have also learned to ignore text messages.

[woodsgnome]

Yes, this folding under pressure is common. And repetitive, sneaky, and dangerous.

It can be to the point where the word competition sets me off or, conversely turns me off; then it's like I have an ice bubble form around me so I feel protected. In my case it boils down to how so many of my efforts to please, toe the line, do exactly as told--it was all due to fail, so why try.

Over the years I built up (or tried to) loads of self-worth geared to finding my inner strength without regard to the outside pressures. Sometimes this worked, other times not. When it didn't I felt resentment that I had to prove myself artificially in an impossible situation. This becomes extremely tiring--and annoying--this song and dance to prove my self-worth.

When I'd step back from the pressure points (knowing boundaries, etc.) I came to enjoy the sheer flow of competition which got me to where it felt good no matter the perceived outside judgements. But the minute the contest parts are inserted, I lose interest and can be badly hurt if I get caught up in the have-to game, where my enjoyment of the moment can wither into hopelessness. Keeping that perspective--for my own sanity and no one else's--then strengthens my resolve regardless of the performance pressure. In other words, stay with the flow--your flow.

[annenonimoss]

Yes...I have long marveled at how I cannot handle stressful jobs, or moving, or any of the transitions of life without some sort of meltdown. Insomnia is usually the first sign, and I am in the middle of several days of very little sleep.

Great topic. I'm putting together a "getting through a * night" kit in case tonight is another night like the last three. 
I'm glad to have this forum as one of my resources. Stay tuned as I lose coherence...   If I post tonight, it may be rambly and wierd cuz I will be soooooooooooooooooooooo tired. Already am.

[Libby12]

Thank you so much for this thread.  It has suddenly helped me realise what has been going on with me for so many years. I realised that the absolute worse episodes of my adult life have been precipitated by major life stresses - two house moves, many years apart,  trying to return to work after many years and my daughter leaving home for college for the first time.   I fell apart for months and months on each occasion and looking back,  it feels that each time I crumbled, I never made up that ground, never fully got back to where I was before,  so the trauma was cumulative.   Am I right in thinking that this is a feature of c-ptsd? 

I have realised as well that these are all times when I reached out for the love and support of my parents but never got it.  No surprise there, I had never had love and support from them.  But what happened on each occasion,  is that my nm stepped up the sheer nastiness to new levels, just to make sure I really, really suffered.   And I did!  It makes so much sense to me to see these episodes as really severe,  long-lasting emotional flashbacks. I was made to feel young and unable to cope,  unloved and unsupported,  just as I had been all of my life with my parents.   

What also occurs to me, that seems to support this, is that when my children need support,  I am perfectly calm and composed and able to deal with things.  My daughter has had house moving issues and I have been able to support her practically and emotionally.  My son had autistic meltdowns and again I can deal with them and help him through them.

Thanks again for the insight and the opportunity to organise my thoughts.  I really think that understanding things makes them a bit more bearable.

Best wishes.

Libby.

[Elphanigh]

Thank you everyone for sharing so much, and validating this for me. I too have struggled so much with life transitions every time they happen.

Libby I am so glad this thread could be so helpful for you