I have so struggled with both self harm and suicidality

[Dee]

Let me be honest since we now have this thread.  This has been a huge issue for me.  I stayed in the trauma unit for twice the normal time because it came out how bad I was.  My inpatient treatment was really about saving my life.  I spent the first couple of weeks working on suicidality and self harm only and trauma later.  I can honestly say I feel so much better.

The first thing I learned is saying it takes away the power.  I was never very honest about it because I was a afraid of what would happen to me and ashamed.  When I got there I decided I was already there, so I spilled my guts.  I now know to say it early.  By doing this I take the power out of it.  I am no longer worried of going to the hospital, because if I am honest, I most likely won't go.

I also learned the thought of is uncontrollable.  So, I am not so ashamed of the thoughts anymore.  I can chose my actions.  I made a lot of plans and challenges to deal with it.  We have three seconds to change a thought.  I have all kinds of reminders around my house now.  I have cards to keep with me.

My best advice is to say it and be honest about how you feel.  Dealing with it head on is the best way.  I also know there will be dark nights, but now I can tolerate it.  It isn't completely gone, but I can manage.  I felt understood.

[Three Roses]

This is wonderful. Thanks for saying this and helping to give hope to others.

Dee, you've been thru so much. You are one of the bravest people I know, and I'm proud to call you friend.

Welcome back.

[Lingurine]

Dee, glad to hear the thoughts of suicide don't tidal wave you anymore. Going through a hospitalization must be hard. You can be proud of yourself. When you feel it, keep saying it.

Lingurine