Well hello!

[Unbound]

Hi everyone. I'm Unbound, I'm a 29 year old writer who lives in the Northeast US. I don't have my CPTSD officially diagnosed yet, but I do have a PTSD diagnosis (from a series of horseback riding accidents). I've thankfully managed to move past the riding trauma with the unexpected help of ADHD medication. I was diagnosed with ADHD about eighteen months ago, am on medication for that, and it's made a very wonderful difference in my life! I'm still working through various ADHD symptoms and setbacks but I'm worlds better than I was even two years ago. But my CPTSD, which stems from my emotionally abusive mom, is a much larger monster, and it's beginning to seriously impact my relationship with my fiance, particularly where money is concerned. So I'm here to talk about it, get some input and support and maybe some ideas for treatment - I'm in both individual therapy and couples' therapy already, but more helping hands never hurt. As I'm newly engaged, I really want to help my relationship work and continue to grow. My fiance has a number of mental health concerns, including sharing ADHD, so he does get to an extent, but he doesn't have PTSD or CPTSD, so sometimes the specifics are hard for him to understand.

Some initial questions:
For those of you who have both CPTSD and ADHD, how do you find that your rejection sensitive dysphoria from the ADHD impacts your CPTSD? Some people with ADHD don't have RSD, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes it's hard to tell where my CPTSD ends and my RSD begins; there's a lot of overlap between the two.

How do you handle an emotional flashback if your partner has triggered one in you? Do you have protocol in place for moving past it and healing together?

How do you talk about difficult topics (IE, things that may make your partner angry or upset) without disassociating or derealization? When you're in those moments, how do you not freeze and shut down? Avoidance is a big, big issue for me and it's the trickiest one to navigate because it's my gut instinct when my partner brings something up that I know is going to make him upset. I do it without even being able to take a second and think about my response. It makes me feel dishonest (because it pretty much is) and ashamed that I can't work through this reaction before it comes out.

I know that was a lot to read through, so I thank you if you read through it!

Cheers!

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, glad you're here.

I'm diagnosed with PTSD & MDD. Once my HMO recognizes complex PTSD, I will try to have my diagnosis modified.

How do you handle an emotional flashback if your partner has triggered one in you? Do you have protocol in place for moving past it and healing together? 

Been married for 35 years now, we don't have a "protocol", just forgive infractions as they occur by acknowledging neither of us is perfect. I trigger him unknowingly as he does me, sometimes. We focus on understanding the other's view without pressure to agree.

Difficult topics are handled the same way. We know we're not always going to approach things from the same viewpoint and in fact if we did one of us would be redundant. When an agreement must be reached, we defer to whoever has the most knowledge about the subject and see what happens. Nothing is written in stone and minds can be changed.

Thanks for joining!

[AphoticAtramentous]

Welcome to the forum, Unbound. ^-^
It's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you may find the answers you're looking for here.

[Kizzie]

Welcome Unbound!    

I just wanted to mention something by Pete Walker (therapist who treats and suffers from CPTSD) called "Lovingly Resolving Conflict" that you may find helpful. It's  here.