Emotional numbness

[BlancaLap]

Anyone who can relate. And if so, do you know how to get out of it?

[Sceal]

I can relate. And i dont know. Mindfulness perhaps

[Three Roses]

I can also relate but don't have any insight. Depression?

[Resca]

Same here. Do you also sometimes realize you're outwardly faking emotions just to appear more socially acceptable? C-PTSD is a really weird thing, huh...

I read once that focusing on the smallest of emotions and drawing them out can be helpful over time. Like if you ever see a butterfly cross your path and there's a little flutter of reaction, dwell in it for a bit to figure out what the emotion is and see if you can feel it more strongly. I've never tried it myself but it sounds logical.

[BlancaLap]

Dude, I fake emotions ALL the time, like, that's the only thing I do. I don't feel ANYTHING rather than anxiety. I mean, I used to, using some sort of grounding techniques I though I invented (I had no idea they already existed and had a name) and they worked... at least they used to. They used to tell me what to do, because you know, when you don't feel, you have no idea what to do, so I used to focus on some point in the room, wall, floor and try to connect with myself. I had to do it all the time, but it worked. But now, since I had that horrible experience (which I discussed in another post) I just feel I can't reconnect with myself and I'm so desperate...

[Cookido]

I fake emotions most of the time, I don't even think anyone notice. I react with expressions automatically and I barely have to think about faking it anymore, except when I have very bad anxiety.

My emotions did come back when I had therapy and medication for depression. However, I fall into the same patterns when enduring high stress.

I did relate to the comment from Resca about butterflies. Sometimes I get almost euphoric feelings over the smallest things and I try and stay in that moment for as long as possible just to remember the joy of feeling. Not sure it helps, but it definitely makes me stay motivated to fight for change.

[BlancaLap]

Thanks for your replies!

[Piou]

I relate too; I've been numb most of my life actually. And can't bring myself to care enough/have no energy to fake emotions (unless I'm with people I care about). Though,sometimes, I try and do as Resca said and it works to some degree. I might have tried to do something along the lines of your grounding technique too at times.

[goth_mike]

Noticing I felt "nothing" (most of the time except while in flashback) was my prompt to investigate what was wrong in the first place.  I think it's a form of dissociation.  I remember suppressing all the "bad" feelings for years.  It has had the unfortunate side effect of also repressing everything else, and has become such a reflex it now happens automatically :-(

Really trying to get in touch with my buried self right now...

[BlancaLap]

Me too, the time I was the most in contact with my feelings, there was so much pain, I switched to dissociation in 1sec... it was automatically, I couldn't control it. Now I'm afraid I would be like this the rest of my life. That's what I feel...

[faith]

Before remembering my abuse I was very outgoing and really loved people. I am a sensitive person and very empathetic, however the last few years I have had a lot of difficulty feeling emotions. When I do feel "emotion" it seems like all of them at once all jumbled up. I have learned to fake emotions to accommodate my husband and children (I don't have anyone else in my life now). It makes it even more difficult because I spend most of my time alone. I did get a puppy and she is the greatest little thing! The first time I saw her face was the first time in over a year that I felt overwhelming love! She is a wonderful companion. I am thankful in a way because if I had remembered the trauma before I had children I don't think I would have been able to be the mother I was to them. On the other hand because I didn't remember they were exposed to the same abuse from the same abuser (my own mother). I "feel" guilt. I am not sure if I will ever feel like myself again or not. Remeber though before we all found each other here, we felt like we were the only one and we were alone with no one who understood, now we know differently!