Understanding more about suicide ideation / SI

[Blueberry]

Under Books thread, I posted about how The Body Keeps the Score is helping me understand some of myself and my problems on a deeper level. Other than the example I gave there, suicide ideation / SI comes particularly to mind, especially when as in a case like mine, I don't actually really want to end everything. It's just this voice that used constantly to say "the best plan would be to end it all". Interestingly enough, not even in English, so not in the language of my childhood and of FOO and of the abuse but in my daily 'working language' so to speak.

I can't even say now what it was in the book, or where, which suddenly made sense to me! I know enough about myself and my memory and the workings of my mind in healing to be confident that it's working away in my subconscious and will appear again when the time is appropriate.

[sanmagic7]

the mind is a wondrous thing.  we can hear the same thing said over and over by a variety of people and it doesn't sink in or make sense, then one day it hits us.  maybe we read it, maybe another person entirely said a key word that finally 'fit' for us.  i'm just glad you finally 'heard' what worked for you.  it's quite an amazing process, to my mind.  big hug, sweetie.

[Three Roses]

I really love that book.