Disassociation?

[AphoticAtramentous]

Hi, I'm a new member. I just wanted to say I've experienced this too and it's very disturbing. I've only had derealization, not depersonalization. I'd be in the middle of some random moment just having a mundane experience sitting with people talking or whatever and then out of the blue I think "This isn't real. If I picked up this drink and poured it on this person next to me would it mean anything? Is this all just in my head?" And I feel like I'm watching some elaborate virtual reality and the world doesn't really exist. Like I said, it's extremely upsetting when this happens. I think it might be related to anxiety, because the few times this has happened to me they've all occurred at times when I'm socializing and feel that I've become overtaxed by the social interaction. Has anyone else experienced dissociation this way? One trick I've heard is whenever you feel like things aren't real or like you're dreaming is to pinch yourself.

Welcome to the forum, Pasiphaessa. It may be related to anxiety, too complicated to really know for sure though.

@EricS: I know it's probably pointless of me to say this but try not to blame yourself for all that. It's a completely common thing for people to not talk about what has happened to them, physically or mentally. I think the most common reason for why people do that is because they're afraid of judgement. Or in some C-PTSD cases, they don't feel they are cared for/are worthy and thus don't bother telling others or reaching out for help. You may have other reasons though, I'm not really sure.

There is something else that causes depression and that's unreleased anger, anger denied. For me this is very true.

That is very true to me as well.

I've dissociated a few times, had my moments of derealisation. During one of my harder traumas I had a really bad bout of derealisation, it felt like everything that was happening was all just a nightmare, nothing and nobody was real, and I was convinced it was indeed all a nightmare and I needed to wake up so I could stop the pain. So I tried pinching myself, counting the fingers on my hands, to try and wake up. And I never did.

[samantha19]

Wow I just made a post about this kind of thing and reading this is so similar to what I'm experiencing - derealization. Welp this sucks. I suppose at least I can say this is a symptom and understand why it's happening. It will pass.

[BlancaLap]

This happens to me, except for the breathing part, and to a classmate of mine (she told me she has the breathing part too).