I told my mother...TW

[Serenity]

*TW CSA*

I feel so alienated and alone lately, I see my therapist weekly but I feel she's the only person who cares or will listen to me. My partner is struggling to support me and is giving me the cold shoulder.

I told my mum what I'm going through about 2weeks ago but other than a message saying we should talk next time she's in the town I live in(she travels a lot) I haven't heard anything from her, I sent her another message 7days ago no reply but I know she's been back here for the past 5days. I'm really heartbroken as I have C-ptsd as a result of sexual abuse from 4 different men, 1 was my brother when I was 12 and I told her this but now it seems she doesn't want to know about it or care about me.

Today I told my partners Nana about what I'm going through and she was really good about it but I still feel this gaping hole from my partner and mother pushing me away. I wish I could tell my dad but his mum(my grandma) and his new wife are both not well and he doesn't cope well with stress at the best of times.

I feel so abandoned and alone right now, I'm also at a grieving stage of my recovery and keep having horrible emotional flashbacks and it's getting really hard to keep going when I feel so isolated and everybody is so unstable, it makes me feel unsafe and I don't know what to do. My partner is putting a lot of pressure on me to get better faster but I know I shouldn't push myself especially when I feel so insecure.
What do I do?
Is there anyway to ease this pain?
       

[Three Roses]

Grieving is necessary for healing to happen, but it's hard as *. It absolutely sucks!

I'm sorry you're feeling so unsupported and pressured right now. It's important that we are each allowed to progress (or not progress) at our own, individual speed.

There is a way through the pain, but that's just it - it's through it. Going through it is the only way out.

EFs are manageable too, here's a link to some pointers - http://pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm

Please don't rush things. Proceed at a rate that feels right to you - further injury can occur if you force things. We'll be here! 

[Eyessoblue]

Hi I'm going through a similar thing with abuse which was from my dad, my therapist and I have talked about this a lot and she believes that my mum was fully aware of what was going on but chooses not to remember, I'm not yet brave enough to have that discussion with her and unfortunately my relationship with her is really bad because of what I think she may know and me bringing that up with her, it's a case of do I or don't I, she's extremely disassociated herself and when the physical abuse was going on she was fully aware but carried on as if nothing was happening therefore my therapist believes she's done the same with the sexual abuse, I'm in a real predicament with it all and it's brought up so many different issues because of this, no one else knows apart from my therapist and that is really difficult as she is the only one who can support me and I too feel really unsupported, I've managed to control the flashbacks through EMDR therapy so that side of it is a lot better but I just now feel very angry about it all. I know where you're coming from and just wanted to offer you my support too.

[BlancaLap]

Omg, I'm so sorry... that sounds horrible.