Dealing with EFs in a high-stress situation

[songbirdrosa]

Tomorrow I'm doing one of the biggest projects I've worked on to date. It's a recording session with a full band, doing two songs in one eight-hour block - which is a hefty task for even the most experienced audio engineer. Not impossible, but there's lots of pressure and everything has to be very efficient and tight. Which is all more than enough to set off my anxiety as is, but there's an added problem. One of the guys I'm working with causes pretty crazy EFs for me, and I'm really worried that with everything together, I'm just going to fall apart.

He's controlling, dismissive, passive-aggressive, and he presses just about every trigger button I have. And my responses to it have been getting steadily worse since it's been going on for quite a few weeks now and my strength is waning. I'm scared that I won't be able to regulate myself as well tomorrow and I'll end up either completely losing my temper at him, or crumbling into a crying mess in the corner.

I'm doing everything I can to make sure I'm prepared for anything that might happen because my worst always comes out when I'm caught by surprise. My T has given me a few strategies to help keep level and in control of myself, so I hope that I'll have the presence of mind to use them if need be.

[Dee]

I'm glad you worked with your therapist to come up with strategies.  That is always so helpful for me.  I wish you the best, let us know how it goes.

[sanmagic7]

i hope it's going well for you today, songbird.  sending you a hug filled with strength, awareness, and the capacity to stay true to you.

[songbirdrosa]

Thank you both! It was a long and hard day, but I made it through. No EFs, freak outs, or meltdowns. The guy did cause a few issues, but thankfully there were several people there to correct the mistakes so I wasn't dealing with everything. All in all, it went pretty well.

[sanmagic7]

very glad to hear that.  wonderful, as a matter of fact.  big hug.

[Blueberry]

Really glad to hear it too. Well-done you.    Also good to know that other people were on hand to clean up after this guy. It's easier for me when I'm not the only one responsible.