New Guy, Porn Addict, Social Anxiety.

[nickressurected]

I started reading Pete Walker about 3  weeks ago, Finally something that describes my experience to a tee. I have been on a long journey through my early 20s not knowing what was going on and how to fix it, I forgot and numbed out my childhood and didnt realized how damaging it was.
Mother left at 18months, came back at 6yo, left again after divorce at 10yo, shes narcissist and very emotionally secrewed up. Had verbally abuseing and emotionally shaming grandmother to replace my mother.

I got addicted to porn early  at age 13, i am now 33,I started reading Pete Walker about 3  weeks ago, Finally something that describes my experience to a tee. I have been on a long journey through my early 20s not knowing what was going on and how to fix it, I forgot and numbed out my  memory childhood and didnt realized how damaging it was.

I have bad scoial anxiety and i dont wanna be so disconnected from love and connection.
Lets beat this thing together.

[Kat]

Welcome!  I'm so glad you've found this forum.  Thanks for sharing some of your story.  I look forward to hearing more of it as you're ready to share. 

I hear you when you say you don't want to be so disconnected from love and connection.  I don't necessarily have social anxiety--or at least not to a debilitating degree--but I do isolate for sure.  It sometimes just feels easier.  Let's beat this thing together, indeed!

[Dee]

Welcome.  I did a little reading about your addiction and it sounds very debilitating and isolating.  Are you getting treatment? 

[sanmagic7]

welcome, nickres,

i think it's very brave of you to be looking at this.  i've been married to 2 porn addicts, so i've seen quite a bit.  i do think getting help for it is the way to go, and you'll get plenty of support here.  together, indeed.  glad you're here.  here's a non-isolating hug for you, if that's ok.

[goth_mike]

Welcome!  It was certainly a great start and a huge relief for myself as well when I read Pete Walker's book and found it was mostly a description of myself and my experiences!

A friend of mine is also addicted to porn.  In the first stages of recovery I decided to "test the water" by telling a few select individuals what I was experiencing and how I had come to some profound realisations.  One friend told me of his porn addiction, which he credited for ending his marriage.  After talking we both felt our respective hearts had been "lightened" and are now supporting each other through tough times.  It's good to talk, and I hope you can find that kind of support here - it has helped me immensely, if only to put what initially feel like really complex thoughts into writing!