Personality disorder in a perpetrator

[pit_bull]

First of all I have to state upfront that my complex ptsd began in childhood and was further complicated in adulthood. This post is talking about how a romantic relationship post diagnosis contributed to my disorder.

I am three days into no contact from my ex fiancé, who has diagnosed PTSD, autism level 1, BPD and AVPD traits. He also presents as narcissistic, psychopathic and bipolar.

He made his first suicide attempt during our relationship in 2014 when I would not give him my full undivided attention during my daughter's high school orientation. As a result he stayed in a mental hospital for 12 days where they tried to diagnose him with bipolar disorder but he refused the diagnosis.

My ex husband does have a diagnosis of bipolar and he has refused treatment his whole life which resulted in the termination of our marriage.

My ex fiancé made a second suicide attempt last month when I wouldn't take him back as he was still not yet divorced from his wife. He had filed after 5 years but by that time it was too late. I had ended the romantic relationship 2 years ago but still  maintained a friendship with him, not knowing how dangerous that was.

I had been trying to take space from him since his first suicide attempt in 2014 but he would not allow it and I did not have the strength to do it on my own. I would have had to upgrade my phone service to block him and file a restraining order. I was on the verge of having to file a restraining order this month when he turned the tables on me, accused me of abusing him even though he was the one stalking and harassing me, and finally left me alone.

True to his disorder, he had to do it on his terms, and his timetable and I'm having to sit with that.

Because of my complex ptsd grey rock was very hard for me.

I had been trying to detox from this relationship for a very long time and my last therapist tried very hard to get me to do that. She believed too much in me and thought I was stronger then I was.

At any rate its over now and I'm left trying to pick up the pieces.

I'm feeling very vulnerable in a small way.

[Three Roses]

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through! We should never have been abused by the very people we gave our hearts to. It warps the mind, it really does.

You've taken important steps in changing your life, so for you. If no one else says it to you, bravo!

[pit_bull]

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through! We should never have been abused by the very people we gave our hearts to. It warps the mind, it really does.

You've taken important steps in changing your life, so for you. If no one else says it to you, bravo!

thank you.
I've gotten a lot of support but not as a person with complex ptsd, so that's new.
I say I'm seasoned.
i appreciate you reading.