Observations and notes on Anger

[Rainagain]

Contessa,

You are kind in assessing my posts, its stuff I struggle with too so I try to contribute.

Blatant hijack warning 

I have had experience of romantic catastrophe since moving country over a year ago.

In one case I thought I was starting a new relationship with someone I cared for but it turned out to be a sort of one night stand, very hurtful and damaging to me. Like a case of deliberate mis selling.

Other times I've not engaged with what would be potential relationships damaging to me, I'm older and slightly wiser these days.

For me the same lack of empathy that allows people to be hurtful in the workplace or home is the same trait that allows people to harm others romantically.


Its the same thing showing itself in a different aspect.

There is the expression 'hurt people hurt people'.

I've been harmed by damaged people within relationships, nothing dramatic but anything that wears me down is a bit of a disaster and I'm not all that energised to start with. Its the same as in the workplace and everywhere else, some people cause harm and they seem to head in my direction.

My daughters tell me I go out with people who are pretty nuts, I don't know if I attract that, if I don't notice because of my own stuff, or if my issues prompt partners to act strangely.

I've also not reacted well in relationships myself, usually a conflict will trigger me and I run away at top speed.

Its hard enough living with myself with the issues I have, trying to live with another as well or have a romance is really asking for trouble. Yet I do ask for trouble because we are programmed to want a supportive partner and we feel the lack of one keenly, to me its like a sign of cptsd, too mad to be in a normal relationship.

I'm in my 50's, I'm far too old for romantic teenage woe, what is going on?

[Contessa]

All good RG,

And what is going on indeed!

I used to be good at picking them, but sometimes I feel like the crazy one. Hurt people hurt people indeed.

So many aspects to pick up and muse about, we could go on and woe in circles. I already have, and will most likely again.

However, moments of apathy have been sailing in. And out, and in again. I don't know the answer. Maybe it's okay not to care sometimes. Though that can be a lot of work for us to do. Oddly, it's getting easier to do lately.

Not on topic tonight RG, so sorry!

[Rainagain]

I find the apathy is the end point after anger, puzzlement, over thinking etc have done their stuff.

Like the way a star goes supernova and eventually turns into something not shiny.

[Contessa]

"The end point after anger..."
That was a relief to read. For all the years i've gone around and around fluctuating anger, never going away... "the end"

The fire has gone out.
That's an improvement!