Anxiety so high today

[Branchy3]

Any advise greatly appreciated..
My anxiety has been off the scale today ..
A family member is in contact with my in denial narcissist mother .. when I even text this person my anxiety gets so bad ..
Iv took to having no face to face contact with this family member as it really triggers me ..
I haven't had contact with my mother for 15 years ... this one person who sees her is what triggers me ...
Iv always lived in fear of my mother and after my psychotherapy I decided I want to go no contact with her ..
It's just this family member that creates this terrible fear as it's connected to her.
I'm waiting to start EDMR ...
❤️X

[Hope67]

Hi Branchy3,

I know you wrote this a while ago, time wise, and that your anxiety was high at that point.  I hope that maybe it's come down a bit since then?  Whatever has happened, regarding the anxiety, I hope that you're ok. 

I am also no contact with my M, and have been for similar numbers of years to you.  I relate to what you said about things that trigger you, and having a family member as an additional trigger, that's tough.

I haven't got any advice, except that I think different things work at different times, and so maybe having a list of things you can try - to help your anxiety come down, and just try them out to see if they are helpful.  I discovered that putting my own arm around myself (like in a hug) and telling myself that I'm safe and that I'm ok, actually felt comforting and helpful.  I realise that might not be helpful to you, but I just wanted to give you an example of something that worked for me.   I find doing dot to dots is helpful, as it keeps my brain occupied whilst enabling me to be in a different state of mind.  Deep breathing, from my diaphragm helps me too, if I'm anxious.

Branchy, I hope you're ok, and I hope your EDMR sessions start soon, and that they will be helpful to you.
Hope 

[Dante]

Hi Branchy, sending wishes for peace and safety your way.  I don't really have any good pointers, because I also struggle a lot with anxiety and with unhealthy ways of processing that anxiety.  It's a work in progress. 

I have found that what Hope said does help, at least temporarily, in terms of deep breathing.  It actually helps to clear my dissociation too (most of the time, I feel like I'm seeing the world through blurry lenses, but when my anxiety clears briefly, it's like the world is crisp and clear.  It's precious little, but precious all the same).

Hope you're OK.

[Branchy3]

Thank you both so much for your helpful replies ..
Iv took up knitting as I have a new grandchild on the way .. that distracts me .. it only seems to get so bad when it's this particular family member that is seeing my M ..
My M has never reach out to me since my breakdown 15 years ago !! The family member see my M and it just brings all the fear back .. do you get this Hope ?
Other than this person my circle of family snd friends understand my cptsd ..
I do meditation which helps and I'm trying so hard to heal my inner child ..
Thank you both again 🤗🤗

[Branchy3]

I hope you are both coping the best way possible..
do you find some days are worse  than others ?
I can relate to what your saying Dante with regards to seeing through a blurred lens .. whilst anxious.... Once it calms down I can see much clearer ..
I can't actually believe I have people like yourselves here to talk to .. it means so much not to be alone ..
❤️❤️

[Dante]

Agree completely.  I've spent my whole life fighting this alone, and hiding that I was fighting.  I wish I'd found this years  ago. 

Some days are worse than others, and I'm still figuring out why.  I can tell that some of it has to do with overwhelm (a big trigger for me).  I can do one thing at a time well, but when I need to do two things at the same time, I get stressed, and when it's more than two things pulling me in different directions (like right now), I fall apart.  Self-care also seems to be a trigger.  When I'm willing to sleep, eat, be gentle with myself, I do better.  A lot of days I am not gentle with myself.  In fact the person who has been cruelest of all to me is me.

I hope you find some solace in your knitting.  Doing something mechanical does also help, takes your mind down.