deadlines and internal pressure

[Blueberry]

I have two bits of contract work this week and haven't really started either. Prefer to read around online. Here or anywhere else. That doesn't get the job done though. Today I have lots of time for contract work. Tomorrow the day is fuller, so good to get moving today. I note my reluctance though.

I also sort of want to speak to a freelance colleague and ask roughly what she'd charge, but then I also don't want to ask her. Ah yes, I remember that's connected to 'topic' of M and B1 being very contemptuous of my competency.. Well one thing I do need to do is have some breakfast. It is the afternoon.

[Blueberry]

I have two bits of contract work this week and haven't really started either. Prefer to read around online. Here or anywhere else. That doesn't get the job done though.

Ditto today. Except it's just one piece, due in a few hours, haven't started. I feel bad about that, not just for the client but also for all the people on here who are struggling with way worse workloads. Though probably I'm not getting on with it partly because I'm starting a small job as an employee tomorrow. I always have to re-balance myself when I start something new and before I re-balance some things drop back to a lower performance level. And partly because there's a line-up in my head and feelings of Topics That Need To Be Dealt With. With EFT or Screen Processing.

Recently I think it might have been Slim mentioned based on a post of mine that I seem frightened of my EFs. Yes, well, I hadn't realised it quite that way before but I'm also pretty constantly frightened of what might come up when I look at a topic. So I tend to postpone processing till 2 am or 3 weeks hence.