Life With My Idiot Family, Kathy Picard

[Dee]

I just read the book and found it inspiring.  Certainly triggering.  Still, what I got the most from it was how her family abandoned her.  When anyone finds out that my family didn't support me, even called me a liar they don't understand and even ask why.  I tend to make up reasons to quench their curiosity and to be honest, defend myself.  When I am asked why I feel like I am being accused of lying, even if they are not making the accusation.  The problem is I don't understand the why either.  When I read her book I felt supported.  Her family was really nasty to her as mine was to me.  I feel a little more like I can cut them off and I know I need to.  Every day around them is denying the truth.

A lot of her book is about advocacy work.  It's inspiring.  I don't think I could ever do what she did. 

[Blueberry]

I'm so glad you feel supported by this book Dee!

My experience is: I understand the whys when I'm far enough along, strong enough to understand without being completely and utterly bowled over / devastated by the answer. Sometimes an answer to a different question is necessary first.

I'm pretty sure you know this, but just a reminder: we don't owe anybody else an explanation for the whys. My T doesn't ask me why..... because he knows it triggers me.

[Dee]

I wanted to add she brought a civil suit against her abuser 35 years later and won.  That is inspiring.

BB, I appreciate your comments and the gentle reminder about boundaries. 

[Three Roses]

That sounds like a great book, I'll have to see if I can get it.

There is no logical answer to the question "why" - they were/are sick is as close as we can get, I think.

I read a quote recently, hope it helps you. (I love quotes, because they are proof that I'm not alone and that others have gone through and survived the same kinds of backgrounds that I did.)
Anyway, here it is:

I was my mother's scapegoat. I morphed into my family's Black Sheep. Eventually, I realized that the problem was not what kind of goat or sheep I was, but rather, the sickness of the herd itself.

[Hope67]

I just wanted to say thank you Dee for recommending this book - I managed to get it ordered by my library and I have read about half of it.  I find it a bit hard to relate to the middle sections, as it's about the judicial system in the USA, and I'm based in the UK - but I did relate to her story at the start, and her experiences - it is a powerful book.  I am glad to be reading it, and I'm going to persevere during the bits about the judicial system in the USA to see how things turn out.  She has clearly been a pioneer in terms of sharing her experiences and looking for justice.

Hope 

[Dee]

I actually couldn't relate that much to the judicial system as well.  My story was different and not a law suit as she seemed.  Mine was a criminal case.  However, I think it is less about the judicial system and more about how she fought to find justice.  I'm glad you like it.